Tales of a Strange Companion
by The Lone Summoner
Summary: Something horribly wrong happens... and I get sucked in my gamecube... strange things happen when I eat too much sugar... BOO FOR SCHOOL!
1. Falling Down

**Everybody's doing it. So why don't I? 'kay let's go! (I ate too much sugar)**

It was a normal day, nothing to do, just a boring day. There on the bed was a girl about 16 years old (not my real age… yet), she had dark brown hair with dark brow eyes to match. Her name was Rin, yes, the girl who has no life was there. Rin was about to play her Gamecube, since there was nothing to do. Rin saw that the Tales of Symphonia instruction booklet was on the floor so she went to pick it up. She looked at the first page which said: "WARNING! User may be sucked through Gamecube and deposited on the other side!"

"That wasn't there before… oh well!" She looked at the booklet again this time it said, "You have been warned!"

"… Scary…" Rin said as she turned to her TV. "I'm almost done! Woo Hoo! This'll be the… 11th time! Yay!" (Just like I said before, I have no life) "Okay, all I have to do is release all the seals, go to Colette's fake daddy, kill him, then fight Kratos and Yggdrassill, steal the rheiards, crash at Mt. Fooji, ah… and do some other stuff… YAY!" (I also talk to myself a lot…really, I do)

Suddenly her Gamecube turned off. "NOOOO! I didn't save! Whaaa!" Then it came back to life. "Yay!" Then died again. "Whaaa!" Then alive again. "Yay!" Then it started to smoke. "AHHH! Fire! Fire! … wait there's no fire… I must touch Gamecube…" Rin said as she stood up. The very second she touched the Gamecube the disk thingy popped open. "AHH! … oh … I thought it was going to attack me, ha ha…"

She started to move for the disk to see if it was damaged when she got sucked in the game. The scenery around her when she was being sucked in was a black and white swirl, and then the whole thing started to tear (like you tear a piece of paper)

"There's no place like home, There's no place like home." Rin opened her eyes to see what was going on, she felt sick. "I'm gonna throw up, I'm gonna throw up…" Then suddenly, she hit the ground… hard. "Ouch!" It took a minute to get familiar with her surroundings, she knew this place. "Am I at the…Ossa Trail?" She brushed herself off. Since she beat the game ten times already, she knew where to go, and if the Tales of Symphonia characters had minds of their own, they would find her. She then found the beginning of the trail and waited.

She took this opportunity to gather what just happened. "'Kay… let's see. Gamecube fizzles, I touch disk, I hit the ground… hard, and now I'm waiting for game characters that are lost without me… I think…but it all seems so real…"

Rin picked up some grass and felt it in her hand, then she put some in her mouth. "Feels and tastes real… hmm…" But in the process of grabbing the grass she accidentally touched the bright red switch and fell though the hole. "Ouch!" The trap door was still open and she thought about climbing out, but a squirrel jumped from a tree and landed on the switch causing the door to close. "I HATE SQUIRRELS…" she said. She started to hear voices outside. _It's them! _Rin thought.

"Is the Chosen of Mana among you?" Rin heard Sheena say.

"Oh, that would be me." Colette said.

"Prepare to die!" Sheena said. Rin heard Sheena running to Colette. "This isn't good…" Rin said as she looked where she was standing, she was gonna get squished!

"Ahhhhh!" Rin looked up, she saw Sheena falling. Sheena fell with a loud _THUD! _"M-My… back…" Rin said in pain.

"Ugh… Huh? Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean for me to land on you…" Sheena said to her.

"C-Can you do me a f-favor?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Can you… G-Get off my poor back?"

Sheena looked where she landed, she was sitting on top of Rin. Sheena stood up and helped Rin to her feet. She then realized that Rin's clothing was very strange. "Huh? What are you looking at?" Rin asked Sheena who was looking at her outfit.

"Umm… What's with the get-up?" Sheena finally asked.

Rin looked at herself, she was still in her pajamas! She stuck out like a blue thumb (Cookie Monster pajamas, my favorite) "Crap." She said. "What's that blue thing on your shirt?" Sheena asked.

"DON"T QUESTION THE COOKIE MONSTER!" Rin yelled to Sheena. "Oh… Sorry…"

Even some of the monsters looked at them, then ran in the opposite direction.

"Look, I'm really sorry for landing on you, but I have some things to attend to." Sheena said starting to make her way out.

"Yeah, I know, killing the Chosen is hard work. Next time, be careful." Rin said to her.

"He-Hey! I didn't tell you that!"

"Oh… snap… I'm just… a-a psychic… yeah…" Rin said trying to make an excuse. "Sheena, you can leave now…"

"How did you- Oh… yeah the psychic thing… Well, let's meet again. I have to thank you for softening my fall. By the way, what's your name?"

"Umm… my name is Rin…"

"Okay, let's meet again."

"Not the same way I hope." Rin said putting a hand on her back.

Sheena started running to the exit while Rin was trying to find a weapon to defend herself with. Rin was walking around, her eyes glued to the floor, when being the klutz that she is (or I am) she ran into the Elite from the Underworld.

"Who dares awaken the Elite from the Underworld?" said the floating skull.

"It was… that piece of dirt!" Rin said trying to place the blame on someone (or something) else.

"Then I will vanquish you!" said the skull taking its weapons out.

"…" Rin stared at the skull emerge from the ground. It came complete with four arms, legs, horns (on the head) and…swords…really pointy swords.

_I never realized he was THIS big… I'd better run as fast as I can… _(run for dear life is more like it) Rin slowly crept away from the skeleton who was beating up the poor piece of dirt… (I almost feel sorry for it) She managed to get away but kept running because she knew that Sheena would have lost already. She saw the light and ran to it (this is the ONLY time I suggest you run into the light) She caught them just in time, Raine had just finished saying, "Those clothes…"

"WAIT! (gasp) STOP… (wheeze)" Rin yelled at them, she wanted to know what was going on. Why she was sucked into the Gamecube. She wanted to know why the Elite from the Underworld is so temperamental after his nap. So many questions left unanswered.

"Those clothes? What about her's?" Lloyd asked Raine.

"L-lemme catch my-my breath…" Rin ran as fast as she could to get away from the Elite (I'm just gonna call him Elite, it wastes so much time typing Elite from the Underworld… I'm lazy)

"Is that blue thing a emblem or something. 'Cause I haven't seen anything like it." Genis said pointing to the Cookie Monster on Rin's shirt. That comment made Rin angry.

"Hmm… those ARE strange clothes… It could be an ancient god worshiped by a civilization that was wiped out long ago…" Raine said. _Ancient god? You're not serious… _Rin was sure that they could see steam from her ears. _Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, says that about the Cookie Monster! _She was full to bursting.

"What's wrong with its eyes?" Colette said innocently.

"GRRRrrrrrrr… Deep breaths… calm quite spaces…" Rin said trying to calm herself.

"Who are you? And what business do you have here?" Kratos asked Rin.

"Ummm…" Rin couldn't just tell them, "Hey, I just came from another world where you guys don't really exist, and where we actually have technology instead of magitechnology, and our hair doesn't defy gravity Lloyd."

"I… I'm Rin… M-My family has always worshiped the chosen and it has been my dream to accompany her on her journey… heh he…"

"Wow! That's cool! As far as I'm concerned, you welcome on this journey." Colette said with a smile.

"Humph… Well, can you defend yourself?" Kratos asked.

"Yes… I think I'm pretty good, defense wise…" Rin said. She smiled to herself and thought, _ Heh, they don't know that I'm a red belt two stripes in Tae Kwon Do… This is gonna be good! _(I was one stripe away from becoming a black belt, but then they put this boot camp thing where you had to do boot camp to be a black belt and that's when I had it! I other words, I quit…)

"We'll see… Lloyd, get your wooden swords and fight her." Kratos commanded

"What! I barely know her!" Lloyd protested.

"Do it!"

"Geez Kratos, you don't have to be so mean to your son- I mean look at the sun it's so shinny! You can just feel that vitamin D… heh he… Look! A unicorn! Heh he…"

"Where!" Colette asked looking in the direction Rin pointed to.

"Ooooooooooookay." Lloyd said getting his swords. "I'll go easy on you… okay?"

"HA HA! Don't hold back Lloyd!" Rin said smiling from ear to ear.

"Ready, BEGIN!" Kratos announced.

The two ran for each other (I was tempted to put, they ran for each other and kissed passionately), Lloyd with his swords and Rin with her… hands and feet I guess… "I'm sorry if I hurt you." Rin warned Lloyd.

"Don't worry, you won't hurt me at all." Lloyd replied back to her.

"Why? Because I'm a girl?"

"N-No… Not that… you just don't look very strong…"

"Well, my friends don't call me Wonder Woman for nothing!" Rin said as she landed a punch right in Lloyd's face. Lloyd fell backwards and then got up.

"Ouch! That hurt!"

Colette and Genis started laughing and they both said in unison, "Your nose is swollen!"

"SHUT UP! You guys are mean!" Lloyd said rubbing his nose.

"She socked you good Lloyd!" Genis said.

"Grrrr!" Lloyd growled at Genis.

"Hmm… let's make this a little more interesting… Rin, catch." Kratos said throwing a dagger that was hidden under his belt thingy. Rin didn't know that he had a dagger under his belt, and she almost sliced her hand trying to catch it. But she managed to catch it… somehow…

"Cool!" Rin said looking at the sharp blade.

"Hey! That's not fair! Why does she get to use a real weapon and I have to use wooden swords!" Lloyd argued.

"Because you need more training and I was getting bored…"

"Lloyd, you better focus on the battle… or do you want me to cut off your hair?" Rin said obviously bored.

Lloyd didn't say anything, he just ran right to her. Rin, on the other hand just stood there… waiting for him to reach her. When Lloyd came within an arms reach of her she started flinging the dagger at him. He jumped back, so he wouldn't get hit and then she threw her dagger right at him. Lloyd stumbled out of the way and said, "Hah! You lost your weapon!"

Rin simply replied, "No I didn't!" Then she ran to him and landed a roundhouse kick on his temple.

They both cried in pain. "Ouch! Lloyd! You have a hard head!" Rin yelled as she sat down and grabbed her foot (she had no shoes on) "Ouch, that hurt!" Lloyd said grabbing his head in pain.

"I think you passed…" Kratos said to her.

Raine healed them and they began their journey with a very strange companion.

"Let me introduce-" Colette was cut off by Rin who started naming all of them.

"You are Colette Brunel, the chosen that will save the world. You are Raine and Genis Sage, two _elves_ from Iselia. You are Lloyd Irving, a swordsman raised by a dwarf. And you are Kratos Aurion, a mercenary who has a checkered past… am I missing anybody?"

They were in shock, they just met her and yet she knew all of their names. "H-How did you-" Raine began.

"Well, I'm… I guess a psychic…" Rin couldn't help but smile.

"Well then, shall we continue to Izlood? So we can go to Palmacosta." Kratos said.

"Okay!" Said Genis, Colette, Lloyd, and Rin in unison. (Rin in, it rhymes!) Rin picked up the dagger and asked the group, " Umm… can I get some new clothes first? People will stare…"

"Yes, let's make that priority number one…" Raine said to her.

And so they marched on to Izlood, not knowing what will happen… (well, I know what'll happen…)


	2. Modest Much?

**Here you go! Please enjoy!**

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"Welcome to the Izlood super shopping center! We have a sale on seaweed and squid! Please feel free to ask any questions to our professional supervisors! Have a great day!" said a strange lady on the intercom.

"Eww! I don't want to look like poor folk!" Rin yelled to Raine who just showed her an outfit in Izlood. They had decided to go get Rin some clothes, so she would fit in. But it was taking longer than expected, much longer…

"(sigh) At this rate we'll never find something you like… It's hopeless…" Raine complained.

Lloyd and Kratos were sitting on the floor, bored to death. "Shopping for clothes is definitely boring…" Lloyd said to Kratos who was just staring into space. Genis was writing on a sheet of paper while Colette was running back and forth bringing clothes for Rin, occasionally tripping.

"There! Finally finished!" Genis shouted.

"Huh? Did you finish your homework? Can I see it before you turn it in to Raine?" Lloyd asked Genis.

"It's not homework Lloyd, it's a questionnaire… for Rin. You'll see." Genis said as he got up to give it to Rin. "Hey Rin, can you fill this out? It'll help you find the perfect outfit."

"Umm… okay…" Rin said as she took the paper from him and started to answer the questions.

When all of the questions were answered she gave it back to him and he studied it for a minute or to and got to work. Genis was rummaging through the pile of clothes and he occasionally came up for air. A few minutes later, Genis came back with two outfits. One was a hot pink dress with frills on the ends and came complete with a pink umbrella and pink high heels. The second one had dark blue pants that went to her knees and black boots that also went to her knees to match, it also had a plain white shirt that went to her belly button with navy blue as a trim around it.

"Well, good job Genis, but the first one makes me want to vomit on you… the second one I love!" Said Rin grabbing the second outfit and hugging it.

"Good job Genis, you deserve a treat." Raine said to him.

"Can I get a new book?" Genis asked Raine.

"Okay… but it has to be long…"

In a few minutes they were at the book store, where both Genis and Raine were drooling over all the collection of books that they had. Almost immediately they ran into the store and started to search for that perfect book (I just love that feeling… what?)

"Raine, can I get this one? Pleeeeeeaaaaassssseeee…" Genis said showing the book to her.

Raine read the title out loud, "_The Amazing Periodic Table of the Elements Pop-up Book of Joy and Love_… I don't know Genis…"

"Pleeeeeaaaaassssseeee…" Genis begged.

"Oh, fine…"

Genis paid the guy behind the counter and started to hug the book when it became his. Then Lloyd asked everyone, "Hey, can we check out that mine? There might be some strong monsters… and we could use the extra training."

"Yes, we should go there, and Lloyd… hate to break it to you… but you're the one who needs the extra training… not us…" Kratos pointed out.

"All right! …H-Hey!" Lloyd yelled to Kratos.

After leaving the mall, the group went to the Ossa Trail and found themselves deep inside the mine, where the Elite from the Underworld lurked.

"I f-fight strong ones… will y-you fight m-me?" Elite asked the group.

"Bring it on, skull thing!" Lloyd blurted out before anyone had a chance to voice their opinion.

Suddenly, the skull floated to the ceiling and its bones assembled themselves in there proper places.

"Let's go!" Lloyd shouted.

"I'm sitting this one out…" Genis said.

"Me too…" Colette said running away where it was safe.

"Looks like it's just us…" Rin said.

"Indeed…" Kratos added.

"Here we go…" Raine said to start the battle.

Rin, Lloyd, and Kratos ran up to Elite and began attacking and occasionally guarding. When Lloyd collapsed and said, "I'm sorry D-Dad…"

"NO! MY LLOYDIE POO! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" Rin yelled as she went into over limit.

"Time to eat your soul!" Elite said as he crept closer to Lloyd.

"Not on my watch!" Rin grabbed Lloyd and started to pull him back towards Raine. "Raine! Resurrection! Hurry!"

"Okay! … Resurrection!" Light suddenly engulfed Lloyd and he was on his feet in no time.

"You're back! I missed you so much!" Rin said hugging Lloyd, who was gasping for air.

"Ugh… I need your assistance…" Kratos said taking a hit from Elite.

"First Aid!" Raine said doing First Aid to Kratos.

The two ran forward again and started to attack Elite. And then, Lloyd died again.

"Are you making this a habit?" Rin said dragging Lloyd to Raine so he won't get eaten by Elite.

"Resurrection!" Once again, Lloyd came back to life and they attacked Elite again. And as expected, Lloyd died again.

"I'm on it!" Raine shouted loud enough so they could hear her.

"Raine, just forget it!" Rin said this time _throwing _Lloyd to the back of the battle field.

"This is for killing Lloydie poo!" Rin said landing a kick on Elite's head… skull… whatever… and defeating him. "Hah! I rule!" Rin said to end the battle.

(Hours later)

Lloyd started to open his eyes, he saw Rin staring at him. "Ugh… are we alive?" Lloyd said getting up, the smell of salt filled his nose. "Where are we?"

Rin smiled and said, "Well, we _are _alive, and we are on a boat to Palmacosta."

"Huh? We got a boat?"

"Yup! And a small one at that… but don't tell the captain that. And we should be arriving soon."

"How long was I out?"

"Ummm… About a day… But I missed you!"

"T-Thanks…"

"We're here! We're here!" They heard Genis say.

"Finally! We're here… I thought I was going to pass out…" Raine said getting off the boat.

They got off the boat and made their way to Governor-General Dorr's office. "Hey, Colette can I talk to you?" Rin said motioning Colette to come where she was. Rin was motioned Colette to come on the opposite side of the walkway (Where she wouldn't run into the Fake Colette)

"What is it Rin?" Colette asked as they passed the corner.

"Oh, I guess I forgot. Sorry."

"It's okay."

They finally made their way to Dorr's office and asked him about the book, it didn't go so well…

"What do you mean you gave the book to someone else?" Genis asked.

"Well, what if you're the imposters? Guards! Seize them!" But before the guards could touch them, Rin jumped on the table and grabbed the collar of Dorr's shirt.

"W-What are you doing?" The nervous Dorr asked.

"Do you know what we had to do to get here? Huh? Well, we had to go through the desert, through this stupid trail that never ended, we had to find a boat, then sail all the way here… Do you think I would be happy to hear that you gave the book to someone else after we went through all of the trouble? I'll tell you now, I'm not in a very good mood right now… One, I didn't eat any sugar this morning… and Two, you gave the book to a fake chosen! Do you think that their group was any stranger than ours? Well, we have a clumsy Chosen, a midget, a retard, a school teacher, a mercenary, and lastly a goddess like woman whose beauty radiates with the shine of one thousand suns… and-"

"Wow… she's very modest…" Genis whispered to Lloyd.

"Yeah… so, who's the retard…?" Lloyd asked Genis.

"Never mind…"

"I-I apologize for my misconduct… We of Palmacosta will gladly pay for anything you spend… just don't hurt me… please…" Dorr begged.

"Well, fine…" Rin said to him. "No more slip-ups… Alright?"

"Yes, yes of coarse… never again…" Dorr repeated.

They exited the office and they all agreed to rest and deal with the book tomorrow.

(SKIT ALERT!)

Title: Kratos' Hair

"Say Kratos, can I ask you something?" Rin asked.

"Yes…" Kratos replied.

"Well, when you run… why does your hair go through your face?"

"…"

"Tell me! I must know!"

"… No comment…" Kratos said as he walked away.

"I will find out… You hear me?"

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**Whew! That was long! Well, I hope you liked it! More to come! Reviews would be nice! Please and Thankies!**


	3. Can't Touch This!

**Sorry it took so long! I had a slight writers block... but I'm back! Here you go!**

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"I said I want 15 lumps of sugar! And I want it NOW!" Rin yelled to the lady behind the counter serving her coffee.

They stayed the night at the Inn and got free breakfast, when things got out of hand…

"But miss… you coffee will be more sugar than coffee…"

"Give it to me or DIE!" Rin yelled once again to the lady.

"Y-yes ma'am…" the lady said as she spooned sugar into Rin's coffee.

The group just stared at her. "How can you take in so much sugar?" Colette asked.

"Ahh… you get used to it…" Rin said while taking a sip from her coffee mug. Almost immediately, her leg began to twitch from her sugar intake. She then chugged the drink down and they were off. They went to the school Genis was supposed to go to and that's when they got involved with the nerd.

"Hey, Genis, wasn't this the school you were supposed to go to?" Lloyd asked.

"Yup!" Genis exclaimed.

An ugly nerd walked up to them and said, "What? How is that possible? He is merely a child. There is no way that he would be recommended to come here."

His sidekick also added, "It took me four tries to get in here. There is no way…"

"Dunce." Rin said to the nerd's sidekick.

"Hey! I bet you couldn't do any better!"

"Hey… I have an idea, we will hold a contest, to see if this midget can beat me… Are you in?" The nerd asked Genis.

"Oh yeah? Well, this midget has some brains! We accept!" Lloyd blurted out.

"Lloyd… fine…" Genis sighed.

"We will meet I the classroom upstairs… we'll be waiting…" The nerd said as he and his sidekick walked away.

"Lloyd, I haven't studied in ages! How do you expect me to win?" Genis complained.

"Don't worry, we'll use a classroom to study… You'll do fine." Raine said making her way a vacant classroom. They followed her into the room and sat down, Rin next to Lloyd, Lloyd in the back of the room, Colette in the middle, Kratos off to the side, and Raine and Genis in the front studying together. They reviewed random questions like, what is Genis' and Raine's race (Pure-blooded Elf… supposedly), why does Kratos run on his tip-toes (He is a ballerina), and why Colette has a strange obsession with dogs (They go great with gravy)

When they were ready, they went to the classroom upstairs and sat down. "Won't it be fun if we all took the test?" Colette asked.

"No… I don't like taking tests…" Lloyd said.

"I think it will be good to see where you are at in your studies." Raine said to them.

The nerd and his one-man posse came in and sat down, and like the classroom downstairs they sat in the same seats. An old man stepped in and said, "I will give the test, for fairness…" and started to pass out the tests. He gave the first test to Rin, who was still sugar-high, and once he was done passing out the tests, she was done.

"Umm… I'm done…" Rin announced to the old dude.

"What? That's not possible!" The old guy responded.

"When you drink coffee with 15 lumps of sugar in it, then it is possible."

"Well then, you may wait."

"Umm… I'm gonna take a walk instead… Okay?" Rin said getting out of her chair.

"Do what you wish, but be back for the results."

Rin ran as fast as she could to the Palmacosta Ranch, put in the pass code and the card key (Which she had stolen from Dorr when she grabbed the collar of his shirt and shook him madly) She rescued the captives and when they were outside and safe, she started a fire and had a huge pile of brush and bark all around the ranch. She started the fire and put it near the bark and immediately it caught fire and burned to the ground. She turned around to the newly freed captives and said, "Only you can prevent forest fires." and then she ran back to Palmacosta and went inside the school bathroom, and threw up (She ran so much and so fast, that's what would happen to anyone if they did that) After throwing up she went to the room where they were taking the test and sat in her seat.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Lloyd asked her.

"Oh… just a walk…" Rin replied.

A few moments later, the old dude appeared with the test results.

"I'll start from last to first, in last place Lloyd Irving, the score was 25." Said the old guy.

"Whoa! 25!" Lloyd shouted with glee.

"That's your best yet Lloyd!" Colette congratulated him.

"Next is Colette Brunel, the score was 210."

"It's not out of 100?" Colette asked.

"It's out of 400." The nerd replied.

Lloyd sweat dropped. "Next is Sheldon Pewter (Nerd's one-man posse) the score was 310."

"Hah! I beat you dunce!" Rin said.

"Next is Kratos Aurion, the score was 360."

"Humph." Kratos said.

"Next is Rin…Rin… there seems to be a smudge on your last name… well, your score was 390."

"Oh yeah! Can't touch this, dan na na na na na dan na, can't touch this! Burn!" Rin sang pointing to her head.

"… Umm Next is Nerd Nerdness, the score was 398. And Genis Sage, 400. Then Raine Sage, 400."

"Yay! In your face Sheldon and Nerd Nerdness! … Seriously, who names their kid Nerd Nerdness…" Rin said.

"Well, you win, fair and square…" Said Sheldon.

"I hope you enroll soon Genis!" Said Nerd obviously sucking up to him.

"Come on Genis! Sing with me!" Rin said to Genis.

"Okay." Genis replied.

"Can't touch this, dan na na na na na dan na, can't touch this! Burn!" They sang in unison.

They left the school and went back to the Inn where they heard of Rin's little adventure.

"Have you heard? There was this woman and she not only rescued the captives at the Palmacosta Ranch, but she destroyed the entire thing with her power over fire!" said some gossiping girl to another.

"Power over fire?" Lloyd repeated.

"Well, she rescued the captives and destroyed the ranch… that's good, right you guys?" Colette asked.

"What did she look like?" asked the other.

"Well, from what I hear, she has dark brown hair that goes to her shoulders, dark brown eyes, and she wore like a dark blue outfit."

"Hmm…" said Raine looking at Rin. "What did you do Rin?" She asked.

"Umm… well… I was so bored I decided to rescue some people from the ranch… heh…" Rin said to everyone.

"Let's keep this under our hats… It looks like she gained some unwanted popularity…" Raine said.

"What! This is like the only time in my life that I'm popular! Please! My public awaits me!"

(SKIT ALERT!)

Title: Lloyd's Hair

"Hey Lloyd, can I ask you a question?" Rin asked.

"Umm… sure… go ahead…" Lloyd replied.

"Well, my question is, how does your hair stay the same shape everyday? And why does it defy gravity?"

"… You know… I don't really know the answer to those questions… It just happens… I guess…"

"How strange…"

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**Yay! You know the drill! Reviews! Please and Thankies!**


	4. Kung Fu Fighting! Hiyah!

**Well, here you go... Pleases enjoy!**

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The night was dark and cold (well, that's how most nights are right?) Rin heard someone moving around in her room. _I'm_ _too tired to open my eyes… it must be Raine or Colette… Whatever I don't care who it is, as long as they don't wake me up… _Rin thought. The person came to Rin's bedside and gently took off the covers. Rin immediately jerked awake, jumped off the bed, and put the assailant in a wrestling hold in which both arms full nelson passed through his' arms from behind and pulled back, levering against the his' back. (Lots of detail… just for you…)

"I'm gonna give you to the count of three… and if you aren't gone by then, I'll punch you in the face and scream…" Rin whispered to the blue haired menace.

"Yah right…" he said.

"One… Two…THREE!" Rin said as she let go of him and swooped forward and punched him square in the face. "AHHH! STALKER! STALKLER!" Rin yelled at the top of her lungs.

The stalker teleported out of the room and Lloyd rushed in to see what was wrong. Although… he was in his boxers…

"Rin! What's wrong?" Lloyd shouted to Rin.

"… (smirk) … (drool)" Rin was speechless… (I would be too… heh heh)

"… Oh…" Lloyd said as he hid behind the door.

"(clears throat) W-Well, this stalker dude came in here but I made him leave… And then you came! (drool)"

"Well then… I'm gonna go back to sleep… You saw nothing… Okay?"

"Oooookay… Goodnight my love!"

"What was that?"

"Nothing…"

"Okay… 'night…"

(The next morning…)

"15 lumps please… or do we have to go through the same charade as we did yesterday?" Rin asked.

"Hah… yes ma'am…" Said the lady spooning sugar into her mug.

After they were done with their breakfast, they made their way to the town square, where some Desians walked about.

"You! Come with us!" Some Desian said to Rin grabbing her arm and leading her to the middle of the square.

"Let her go!" Lloyd yelled.

_He cares about me! (sigh) _"Don't worry, they can't do that much… can they?" Rin said to them as she was thrown in the square.

"Let's see where this leads…" Kratos advised.

"Gah… alright…" Lloyd replied.

"You have been charged with the destruction of the Palmacosta Human Ranch, and freeing the captives there. You will now receive punishment." Said another Desian.

Suddenly, Magnius appeared. "Wha? I thought I killed you!" Rin shouted in disbelief.

"No inferior being can kill the almighty Lord Magnius! But you will pay for destroying that ranch, inferior being! Take this!" Magnius said swinging his axe at Rin.

"Whoa! If it's a fight you want, then come and get it!" She said as she dodged his axe and returned with a kick to the face.

"Guh… Eruption!" (please, bear with me with the sound affects like guh, gah, rawr, ect.)

"Hot! Hot! Hot!" Said Rin stopping, dropping, and rolling to stop the fire from engulfing her. "Okay, now it's time to show you my real power… COME AND GET IT!" Rin said running to him and taking out her dagger. When she got close enough, she started to swing her dagger wildly (Okay, now if you don't know how to picture that in your mind, you have no imagination. If you don't have an imagination, then picture a sugar-high person flailing a dagger at you… there you go…)

Rin then cut his hair-tie (for you boys reading this, it's like a rubber band that ties your hair together… okay?) and his hair went down, all of it went to his hips. Rin, then disgusted by the sight of his hair down, cut it off… There was this red clump of hair on the ground, that's when Magnius got really angry.

"Do you know how long it took me to grow my hair that long! I'm going to kill you!" Magnius shouted while clutching his remaining hair.

"It's about time you got a haircut, that will be 189 gald." Rin said putting her hand out as to receive her payment. But she didn't receive payment, oh no, she got an axe that nearly cut off her head. "Hey! That's no way to treat a lady!" She said as she dodged the axe.

Then, that one kid started throwing rocks, and one landed on Magnius'… place where the sun don't shine… That gave Rin enough time to thrust the dagger into his chest. He fell over and said, "Lord Yggdrassil…Glory to the age of half elves…"

Rin smiled at the other Desians and they ran out of Palmacosta, scared for their lives.

"Ewww… I have Magnius blood on my dagger… Ewww! Get it off!" Rin complained, wincing at the sight of blood on her dagger.

"Rin you did it!" Colette said praising Rin.

"He deserved to die…" Kratos added.

"Yeah! Great job! I can't believe that you beat him on your own!" Lloyd said.

"Yup! Drinking 15 lumps of sugar in a cup of coffee is really worth it!" Rin said smiling. "Well, come on you guys! We have to release the seal of water. Or did you forget?"

"Yes we should get moving…" Raine added.

So they made their way to the Thoda Dock…

"Eh… Washtubs?" Lloyd asked.

"Yup! Washtubs!" Rin said acting strangely happy.

"I'll wait here…" Raine said making an excuse for herself.

"Come on Raine, it'll be fun!" Genis said grabbing hi sister's arm.

"Ahhhhh! " Raine screamed (her scream is hilarious!)

"Hahahahah! That was the funniest scream ever!" Rin laughed.

"Ahhhh?" Lloyd repeated.

"I didn't scream… I was just about to say… Ahhh! This should be fun…" Raine said yet again, making another excuse.

"Ooooookay then, let's go!" Colette said to the others.

They went in two a washtub… Kratos with Colette (My friend: Yay!), Raine with Genis (Me: Whatever…), and Rin with Lloyd (Me: Yay!)

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" Rin said to Lloyd, who was paddling.

"Well, we're almost there, so hang on okay?" Lloyd said trying to encourage her.

Rin then hugged Lloyd, who was like, "I didn't mean like that…"

"Oh… crap… stomach virus all over again…" Rin said letting go of Lloyd and putting her head over the water. "Here it comes… (vomit) (barf) (gag) … I think I feel slightly better…"

"Well, we're here…" said Lloyd getting out and helping Rin out as well.

Once they were all on land, Colette found the Oracle Stone and put her hand on it, which revealed a semi-invisible walkway. They made their way inside when Rin said, "Hey, can you guys wait here for like, five minuets?"

"Huh? Why?" Lloyd asked.

"Well, there are some puzzles in here that I can solve, so Colette can break the seal… It'll be fast… don't worry…" Rin said running off.

(Five Minutes later…)

"I'm back!" Rin shouted to them. "Come on! Let's go!" She added.

She led them to the seal room.

"Rin, do you want to sit this one out?" Lloyd asked.

"Ummm… yeah. I think I will, I still feel seasick…" Rin replied.

The group was Lloyd, Colette, Genis, and Raine. They were doing fine until Raine ran out of TP and started going kung fu on the monster.

"Raine, what did I say about going kung fu?" Rin shouted.

"You didn't say anything!" Raine shouted back to Rin.

"Well, DON'T DO IT! That's why we have orange gels!"

"Oh… Okay…" Raine said giving an orange gel to herself.

The fight was over in the next few minutes and Colette flew up, talked to her fake daddy, and descended back down. They exited the cavern, dungeon, cave… whatever… and Colette fell down… (again)

"Professor, Colette's sick again!" Lloyd said kneeling down to Colette.

"If this is going to happen every time we release a seal I going to name the phenomenon, Angel Toxicosis. We should let her rest for now…"

Rin just fell asleep without a care in the world right after they set up camp. (That is so me)

(SKIT ALERT!)

Title: Genis' Hair

"Genis, can I ask you something?" Rin asked.

"Yeah, go ahead." Genis replied.

"Why do you have so many layers of hair?"

"… Ummm…well…"

"Well?"

"Ummm… Look! A unicorn!" Genis said pointing somewhere.

"Where! …"

Genis took the opportunity to run away in the other direction.

"I can't believe I fell for that…"

"Where is it? I can't see it." Colette said.

"(sigh) Let's go Colette…" Rin sighed.

"But I wanna see the unicorn!"

"The unicorn died and went to H-E- double hockey sticks…"

"What's a hockey stick?

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**Okay! I know that was pretty fast... sorta... well... Reviews! Please and thankies!**


	5. Venus Fly Trap!

**Yay! In one day! Go Rin! Go Rin! Yay! Please read and enjoy!**

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"Uh! … What the heck?" Rin said awaking from a dream. She noticed that she was sweating, and she looked around to see if anybody woke up from her Uh! The only people that were awake were Kratos, who was far away petting Noishe, and Colette, who was… umm… sitting…

"Huh? Are you okay Rin?" Colette asked.

"I… had a bad dream… I guess…" Rin replied.

"It must have been bad, you were talking in your sleep."

"Huh? I did? What did I say?"

"Well, you said some random stuff, like, applesauce, boxers, kung fu, and you carried a conversation with me too!"

"I -I did?"

"Yup! I was talking to myself about dreams and you said something like, you had a dream once that you were going to see your uncle and that Kratos was the ticket man and instead of giving you a ticket, he gave you a Venus Fly Trap, and you went on something called a train and the train started flying… And then you started saying random stuff again, like, sauerkraut, bucket, and then you jumbled up words which I couldn't understand."

"Wow… that's scary…"

"Yeah… it was funny though!"

"And why are you up so late?"

"Ummm… I'm just not sleepy…"

"Oh… now I remember!" Rin said recalling the many times Colette said, "Dream some good dreams for me Lloyd…" (oh, how I hate that part…)

"Huh? Remember what?"

"Oh! … I had a vision that you couldn't sleep after releasing this seal…"

"So you know…" Colette said somewhat sad.

"I won't tell anyone, I swear!" Said Rin trying to cheer her up.

"Okay… Thanks Rin…"

"Well, I even forgot the dream that I had! … That usually happens… Goodnight Colette! Oh! Try counting the stars… that wastes time! Before long, it'll be morning… (yawn) Night!" Rin said laying down to sleep.

"Night! Let's count stars!"

(The next morning)

"Ahh! Such a beautiful morning!" Raine exclaimed.

"Yeah, whatever!" Rin said.

"Well, aren't you cheery." Genis said sarcastically.

"Didn't you sleep well?" Lloyd asked.

"Yeah, I slept fine, but I'm not a morning person…"

"Who wants an omelette?" Colette asked everyone.

"I hate eggs!" Rin said.

After breakfast the group reluctantly went inside the washtubs and made their way to Hacksensi Peak (I don't care for spelling and I don't feel like turning on my Gamecube and checking it…) But they didn't have a pass, so they went to speak with the old man.

"Oh, so you want a pass? It's 100,000,000 gald. Will that be gald or gald? Or do you have your 100,000,000 gald off coupon?" The old man asked.

"We don't have that kind of money…" Lloyd admitted.

"Then you don't pass!"

"But this is the Cho-" Lloyd got interrupted by Rin.

"Please sir, we need to pass… If we don't pass, our friend will die… please…" She said as she batted her eyes.

"Oh, okay, 10,000,000 gald."

"Sir, you leave me no choice." Rin grabbed the collar of his shirt and shook him madly (you know where this is going)

"Not again…" Raine sighed.

"Now, give us the pass! Or should I hurt you for it?" The glint of evil in Rin's eye's looked strangely real.

She shook him again. "I think my heart just stopped…" The old man said.

"Give us the pass!" Rin repeated.

"Don't hurt me… t-take it… just take it!" The old man said throwing the pass at Genis.

"Let's go!" Rin shouted happily.

"…" The group just stared at her and then they left to Asgard.

They went to the stone dais when suddenly Raine went all crazy on them and started to talk nonsense about the dais. Then Colette, being the blonde she is, asked Raine to repeat all of the information that she said, over and over and over and over again… (The first time I played the game I stood there for like ten minutes, not knowing that I could move…)

Lloyd ventured off to the back of the dais and found two miscreants trying to blow it up. Raine noticed this and jumped like twenty feet in the air, and kicked their buttocks… THEN, and only THEN, did she turn on the switch, on ACCIDENT mind you! (she purposely turned it on… I know it… you saw her arm trust out and touch it! You all saw it!) Luckily, my Lloydie Poo disarmed it.

They talked to Aisha and they all agreed that Raine would be the sacrifice for the wind monster. Raine did her spiffy dance (I wouldn't even call it a dance, all she does is put her stick, I mean staff, in the ground and kneel… what is so special about that?) Then the monster appeared and Lloyd, Kratos, Colette, and Raine fought and killed the monster. Colette won and she said to end the battle, "I like big butts and I cannot lie!" (I wanna see how my friend would react to that hehehe!)

They got the Map of Balcrauf (I don't know if that's right, but I don't care) and Raine went on a study date with… with… let's call him Freak.

"I'm gonna take a little walk…" Rin said to the others.

"Alright…" They all replied in unison.

Rin made her way out of Asgard and encountered a few monsters, but she beat them up. She then encountered a Wyvern. Rin attacked the Wyvern and it fell to the ground. She then jumped on it and it flew up in confusion.

"Okay! Let's see… your name is going to be… Jojo… no… how about… Winery! Winery the Wyvern!"

"Roeor? Rawr rough, rouht. (translation: Winery? What kind of name is that?)" Winery replied.

"Good! Okay Winery! When I say fire, you breathe fire. Okay?"

"Raah resh! (Yeah right!)"

"Fire!" Nothing happened. "I said, FIRE!" Rin said strangling poor Winery.

"Rach! Raght! (CENSORED FOR LANGUAGE)" Winery then breathed fire, which made Rin happy.

"Yay! You deserve a treat! … What do Wyverns eat? … How about a thief?"

Winery nodded her head wildly. It took Rin awhile to find a thief, but she found one.

"How do you like them? Alive or dead?"

"Rench renh. Righ reash ream rone routh. (A little alive. I like the twitch when they go down.)"

"I don't understand you… I'll just kill him…"

Then Rin gave the dead thief to Winery, who swallowed him in one… swallow?

"Well, I have to go… I'll see you tomorrow, okay Winery?"

Winery nodded and flew off and Rin went to the hotel where they were staying the night. And the moment her head hit the pillow, she was out like a light.

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**Yay! I'm still happy that I did a chapter in one day! Reviews! Please and thankies!**


	6. Poor Unfortunate Back

**Yay! Here you go please enjoy... (stares at you while your reading story)**

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"Really? But are you sure?" Lloyd asked Raine. 

"I'm sure, but when did she have the time to do this?" Raine replied.

"Do you think we should wake her up?" Colette asked looking at the clock that hung on the wall. It was 1:30 pm.

"I'll wake her up." Lloyd said making his way to Rin's room. Suddenly, Rin's door slammed wide open. She walked to the middle of the hallway and stared at the ground.

"Ummm… Rin, are you up?" Lloyd asked.

Rin just shook her head. She looked at Lloyd then ran back into her room.

"What the heck?" Lloyd said confused.

He made his way into her room to see her under the covers. "Umm… Rin… It's time to wake up… so umm…. Wake up… I guess…" Lloyd pulled the covers off and Rin attacked thinking it was the blue haired stalker. But when she realized that the so called stalker had brown hair and wore red, she let him go.

"Why did you wake me up Lloyd?" Rin said slightly agitated that he woke her up.

"Well, it's 1:30 and Raine wants to ask you something…" Lloyd replied.

"Fine, now get out so I can change."

Lloyd left the room and Rin changed from her Cookie Monster pajamas to her outfit that Genis found for her. She then entered the lobby and saw everyone there waiting for her.

"First off, what time did you got to bed?" Raine asked.

"Ummm… around ten… why?" Rin replied.

"Well, it's 1:30! I highly doubt that you need 15 and a half hours of sleep! We could have been at the Balcrauf Mausoleum by now! And second of all, I heard that Governor-General Dorr's daughter Kilia, was murdered. I have a feeling that you had something to do with this… Well, do you?" Raine asked giving Rin the third degree.

"Ummm… Well, I… You see…"

"Spill it!" Raine exclaimed.

"Why do you think it's me?"

"It's okay Rin, I don't care if you are a deranged killer, but I can't speak for anyone else though…" Colette said to her.

"I didn't kill anyone for once!" Rin shouted to everyone._ I hope they don't find out… _Rin thought to herself.

"Well, I believe you." Lloyd said to Rin.

"Y-You really believe me?" Rin asked with tears in her eyes. _He believes me!_

"Yeah, we have to trust our friends… right everyone?"

"Yeah! We wouldn't be friends if we didn't trust each other!" Genis added.

"You don't trust me Raine?" Rin asked. _Wow… I didn't think it would be that easy…_

"Fine, I trust you…"Raine said.

"Alright! Lets go!" Rin said super-happy.

"Ummm… Where?" Lloyd asked.

_Sometimes you have the brains of a soggy pretzel , Lloyd… _"Where else? The Balcrauf Mausoleum!" Rin replied.

"But half of the day is wasted already!" Genis said.

"Relax, I have an idea…"

They made their way out of Asgard and stood around waiting for Rin to do something when she inhaled deeply and yelled,

"WIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY!" As soon as she yelled that, everyone was almost bleeding from their ears.

Soon… nothing happened…. Then Rin yelled again, "GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW WINERY! DON'T MAKE ME COME GET YOU!"

Then Winery appeared. Reluctant, but she came… They rode on Winery in the following order, from head to tail: Rin, Lloyd, Kratos, Colette, Raine, and Genis hanging on for dear life on the tail. It was hard to get off the ground with all of that weight on her, but she managed…

Once again, Rin asked everyone to wait for a few minutes and so they waited… Rin came back and she lead them to the seal room. They beat the monster and Colette talked to her fake daddy and they left… That is until Sheena jumped from… somewhere and landed on (you know who…) Rin's back with a thud... again.

"Oww… That hurt…" Rin cried in pain.

Sheena just ignored her and said, "I'll kill you this time for sure!"

"Once again, oww… That hurt…" Rin repeated.

This time Sheena noticed her and said, "Oh! Sorry! I didn't see you there Rin…" Sheena helped her up and said, "Oh, I see you got a new outfit… What was it again… the Cookie Demon?"

"THE COOKIE MONSTER!" Rin yelled, "Sorry…"

"Hey Rin, how does she know you?" Lloyd asked.

"… Well, she landed on my back… at the Ossa Trail… Ahh… such painful memories…" Rin replied.

"I said I was sorry…" Sheena reminded her. "Umm… anyway I will kill you!" Sheena said to Colette.

"Well, friends can't fight each other!" Colette said to Sheena.

"Friends? Since when are we friends?"

"Well, any friend of Rin is a friend of mine!" Colette said with a smile.

"You're friends with them?" Sheena asked Rin.

"Well… yeah… I guess…" Rin replied.

"… Forget it… Die!" Sheena said running to Colette. They started the battle with Lloyd, Kratos, Colette, and Raine. A few minutes after the battle Colette doubled over in pain.

"Professor! What do we do?" Lloyd asked attacking Sheena.

"I'll handle this!" Rin said as she jumped in and brought Colette out of the battle field and took her place.

Minutes later Sheena asked, "Why can't I beat you?"

"Because goodness and love always wins!" Genis shouted.

"Goodness? Your good? But I'm good."

"Huh? There can't be two goods." Lloyd said.

"Well, when you regenerate the world, my land will be destroyed!" And with the she poofed away.

"What? What does she mean be that?" Lloyd asked.

"Let's set up camp for now…" Raine said to everyone.

(I HATE THIS PART… THIS IS THE PART WHERE LLOYD AND COLETTE… HUG! Sob sob sob…)

Lloyd and Colette just hugged and Rin was hiding… behind a… rock I guess… and walked away to talk to Winery… Although Rin knew quite well that she wouldn't understand her.

Winery had been waiting for her snack when Rin came to se her.

"Why does he like her more than me? I'm I ugly? Do I repulse him? Why oh why does her choose her over me? Why? (sob) (cry)" Rin said to Winery. (pathetic… I know…)

(I'm just going to put in parenthesis what Winery is saying… look for the "( )" 'kay?)

"(Aww… don't cry… it's very pathetic… Well, let me tell you of a Wyvern that I thought was very fine and handsome. All of the female Wyverns loved him, being in his presence made them feel loved… and I felt the same way… (sigh) Anyway, all of my girlfriends and I wanted to be with him for the rest of our lives… until the day when we all found out that he died In a territorial dispute with one of the strongest males. Then we got over it… Oh… that doesn't help you… does it…)"

"(sniff) W-Winery?" Rin asked.

"(Yes?)"

"I didn't understand a word you said… (sniff)"

"(… I'm gonna shut up now…)"

"I'm gonna go back to the camp and try to forget all of this… goodnight Winery…" Rin said as she walked off to the camp. But before she could go to sleep Colette asked her something.

"Umm… Rin can I ask you something?" Colette asked.

"Yeah… go ahead ask away…" Rin replied.

"Well, you know how you said to count the stars?" Rin nodded her head. "Well, I counted them all…"

"Seriously? Well, try to count…" Rin said as she reached into her bag and pulled out a large bottle of sand and handed it over to Colette. "Try to count all of these grains of sand… I have the exact number of them on this piece of paper." Rin said showing her the paper. " If you get it wrong… you win nothing… If you get it right… you still win nothing… so you can't lose…"

"Thanks Rin!" Said Colette already counting the grains.

"Your welcome… Goodnight… Colette…" Rin said drifting asleep.

(SKIT ALERT!)

Title: Colette's Hair

"Colette, can I ask you something?" Rin asked Colette.

"Okay… what is it Rin?" Colette replied.

"Well, why does your hair go through your clothes?"

"… No it doesn't! …"

"Yes it does…"

"No! It doesn't go through my clothes!" Colette yelled.

"Turn your head…"

"… You're right it does!" Colette said turning her head.

"But why does it do that?"

"I don't know… I just realized it does that…"

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**Yay! Don't hate me if it wasn't as funny as the other chapters... Reviews! Please and Thankies!**


	7. The Imaginary Book

**Sorry for the wait... I had to use Notepad instead of Wordpad... Okay, I know you don't care... just read...**

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They started their day like most, Rin, grumpy that she had to wake up so early, and everyone else (except Kratos) happy that they are alive and they have a purpose in life. They started to make their way to Luin when Lloyd asked Rin a few questions.

"Hey Rin, how are you able to solve all of the puzzles in the dungeons so quickly? The Wind Temple looked kinda hard to get by but you solved it in five minutes… Why is that?" Lloyd asked.

"Yes, I am quite curious myself. Tell us Rin." Raine added.

"W-Well," Snap, I knew they would ask about this… "Well, my family, being worshipers of the Chosen, we… umm… have this book! That shows, in great detail, the traps that are in each dungeon… and how to get past them… Each generation has to study the book so that way the Chosen can regenerate the world… heh heh…" Rin said stuttering some.

"A BOOK? I must see this book!" Raine shouted at Rin.

"… Well, the book was…was destroyed by Desians…"

"Really?" Lloyd asked.

"No! I wanted to read it!" Raine said sobbing.

"Why did the Desians want to destroy the book?" Lloyd asked again.

"Well, I'm not really sure why…" Rin said to them.

"Well, we're here…" Kratos said to the group.

They entered the city, everything was destroyed. There seemed to be no one left… except Sheena who was injured badly.

"What happened here? And why are you injured?" Lloyd asked her.

"It'… n-nothing… I was just a little clumsy… that's all…" Sheena replied.

"Please, you think we're gonna believe that clumsiness did this to you? Only Colette's clumsiness brings harm to herself and others." Rin said to Sheena.

"Please Professor, heal her." Colette begged.

"It seems she has companions with her, it could be a trap." Raine replied.

"Hah… you're not as devious as you look… Look at this city… everything's in ruin… I owe these people for food and lodging… They were hiding freed captives from the Ranch… as punishment, not only was the whole population ordered to go to the Ranch… But the city was destroyed as well…" Sheena said to them.

Suddenly a monster appeared. It had formal-ish… clothes on… sorta…and ran forward to a Priest and brought its arm back as if to attack. But Sheena got in the way and it attacked her instead. Since they didn't know about Clara being that monster, Rin ran to her and said, "Clara! Stop! … Please!" But Clara attacked Rin too. "Aw! Come on! I said please!" Clara then ran away.

They brought their attention to Rin and Sheena who were on the floor in pain. "She's lost a lot of blood." Said Kratos to Raine.

"Are you okay Rin?" Lloyd asked helping Rin up.

"Ahh… I've felt better… Come on Raine, she risked her life to save that Priest… Heal her…" Rin said to Raine.

"Oh, alright, but you're all way too softhearted for your own good…" Raine said reluctantly healing Sheena.

A flash of white light emitted from Raine's staff and Sheena was healed.

"Don't think that we're friends just because you saved me, I'm still trying to kill you!" And with that Sheena poofed away.

"Well, what do we do now?" Lloyd asked.

"We rescue that captives at the Ranch and destroy it!" Rin said to everyone.

"Yay! Let's go!" Genis said.

"Why are you so happy Genis?" Rin asked.

"This is gonna be my only line in this chapter, so I halfta make the most of it!"

"(sweat drop) … ONE LINE YOU MORON!" Rin said as she slapped Genis.

They went to the Asgard Human Ranch and they all agreed to jump out and attack an unsuspecting group of Desians. So they waited… and waited… and waited…AND WAITED… but the Desians didn't come… So they waited some more… and then… and only then… did they come… (only retards are late…) So the group showed their anger by killing them… (I wish I could show my anger that way…) And Raine took the liberty of dressing up like the female Desian.

When she reached the gate she said, "We have captured Lloyd and Rin, the ones who are wanted."

"Good work! Now lead them into that there room in there… you know… that room… just go…" Said the ugly Desian.

They made their way into "that there room" and encountered Botta. They let him pass and suddenly, three Desians (you know the ones with the staffs and the boxes on their backs… the retarded looking ones… yeah… those) used their magic power and casted fireballs on poor Kratos and Colette. Kratos used guardian but Colette… was too slow and she got hit by the fire. Kvar entered the opposite door and Colette, now realizing that they were in mortal danger, took her chakrams (from her armpits… Ewww…) and attacked Kvar. They ran in the door he came from and made their way to that dead end.

"No… We're trapped…" Lloyd said pointing out the obvious.

They looked around and saw people going into boxes. One person passed by that was banging on the window as she was passing. "Expheres are… made from human lives?" Lloyd asked under his breath.

"Yes, quite… you are trapped like rats…there is no escape." Kvar said to them. "Now I will kill you and offer your Exphere to Lord Yggdrassil."

"This Lord Yggy… he is your leader?" Raine asked.

"Yes, but that doesn't matter… All that matters is that Exphere…"

"No! This is a memento of my mom's whom you Desians murdered!" Lloyd said to Kvar.

"Us? Please, it was that inferior being who killed her… your father."

"… Do not speak ill of the dead." Kratos said to Kvar.

"Well, it's time to die!" Kvar said to them all.

Suddenly, Sheena dropped from the… ceiling? And landed with a thud on poor Rin again… for the third time… poor soul…

"I'll handle this!" Sheena said as she took out a card. "I'm gonna use the last one Grandpa…"

"I'm gonna die if you keep falling on me like this on a regular basis… Please get off!" Rin said to Sheena.

Sheena jumped off and used the Guardian in her hand. The Guardian then turned around and poofed them all to a safe place.

(That night)

"I can't believe Expheres are made from human lives…" Sheena began.

"Yeah, those people died and here we are, using them…" Rin said butting in on Genis, saying, "This is Marbles life…"

"One line remember!" Rin whispered to Genis.

"O-" Genis started.

"ONE LINE!"

Genis nodded his head vigorously.

"Well, I suppose they would want to be used. I wouldn't want to be thrown away…" Kratos said to them.

"Yeah… if we didn't have these… we would be weak humans…" Lloyd added.

"Excu-" Genis started to say but stopped when Rin hit him on the side of the head. He then started to write in Rin' hand but got slapped again, "Don't you touch me with your cooties!" Rin yelled. So Genis started to write in the sand. He wrote, " Excuse me but we are Hal- Elves… Elves, we are not weak."

"So what are you going to do?" Sheena asked them.

"We will infiltrate the Ranch, free the captives, and defeat Kvar." Lloyd said.

"Well, do you mind if I join you? Now that I know where Expheres come from, it's kinda hard to turn away…"

"I don't mind… Just don't fall on me again… Okay?" Rin asked.

"Well, just don't try anything funny… okay?" Raine added.

"I'm good." Lloyd said.

"As far as I'm concerned, you're welcome anytime!" Colette said with a smile.

"I see no problem with it…" Kratos replied.

"Welcome to our group Sheena!" Genis wrote on the ground.

"Okay! Thanks you guys!" Sheena replied.

Sheena joined the party

(SKIT ALERT)  
Title: Sheena's Hair

"Hey Sheena, why is the back of your hair spider-like?" Rin asked.

"… Why do you wanna know?" Sheena replied.

"Well… Just answer the question!"

"Spider-like? I thought it would be more porcupine-like… Well, it just does it on it's own…"

"Interesting…"

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**Well, there you go... I hoped you liked it... more to comeI promise... Reviews! Please and Thankies!**


	8. It's All Natural Colette

**Yay! lol! The strangest thing just happened to me! I was about to eatsome Koala Cookies (Koala's March Cookies, Chocolate filled...) and when I opened the bag, half of the cookies went on the floor! I was so sad but I remembered the 5 second rule and picked them up as fast asI could, I managed to pick them all up, then I said to myself, "I am sooooooo mentally challenged..." Well, anyway... enjoy!**

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They had started to make their way to Hima, as Sheena had told them to because of this guy who knew an escape route. On the way there, Colette asked Rin some very disturbing questions.

"Umm, Rin? Can I ask you something… in private?" Colette began.

"Umm… sure, why not?" Rin replied. Colette grabbed her arm and pulled her to the far back of the group.

"Well, I don't know how to say this… but… I-I want… I want your chest!" Colette admitted.

"O-Okay… Wh-why are you bringing this up?" Rin asked somewhat nervous.

"Well, I think that I would be more attractive with… a bigger chest… you understand… right?"

"Colette, why do you have to ask me? Of all people, ME! Why not Raine or Sheena?"

"Well, Raine has too little, and Sheena has too much… And you're just right."

"Colette… thanks for the praise… but there's nothing I can do… it's a natural process…"

"Oh, I understand…"

"Good… no hard feelings, right?"

"Yeah…"

They finally arrived at Hima. The group went inside the Inn and Sheena asked where Pietro was. The lady said that he passed away, and not to dig up his grave. They went to his grave, prayed a prayer, and encountered a retard speaking in retard tongue. He said, "Chosen… Mana… big boulder… move… underpants… need… washing…"

"What the-" Lloyd said but was interrupted by Sheena who said, "Pietro! We heard you were dead!"

"You shouldn't have left!" Said that mean lying lady to the retard.

"Chosen… Die…" Said the retard (I know he has a name but, I like retard better…)

"Well that's not very nice!" Colette shouted to him.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have lied to you… Pietro's things are in the grave, use it however you like. Just please, find a way to save him… or else he'll be a retard for life…" Replied the mean lady dragging retard by the hair.

"Okay, maybe something useful is in his grave…" Raine said making her way to the grave.

"I'll help!" Genis said digging with his hands. Soon, he felt something and pulled it out, it was his boxers. "Ewww!" Genis replied and threw the boxers away. He dug some more and found the Desian Orb and he said, "Which one do we need?"

"Well, Genis can have the boxers and maybe the orb is for something else…" Said Colette with a smile.

"Well, we should take both, just in case." Raine said to the group.

They made their way back to the ranch and wondered how to get in. They stayed there, pondering on what to do, when Rin yelled from them being retarded, "GOD, ARE YOU MORONS OR SOMETHING! USE THE ORB ON THAT STONE! GEEZE!"

"O-okay…" Lloyd said using the orb on the bolder.

The orb moved and they managed to get in. Raine used the computer to pin-point Kvar's current location and how to get to there. Lloyd split them up in two groups. For the infiltration team, Lloyd, Kratos, Rin, and Sheena. For the press two buttons and do nothing else team: Raine, Genis, and Colette.

Before Lloyd's team left, he put the boxers in his bag thinking that he could use them to fight Kvar. They stopped the box thingy and blasted all of those shinny things in the middle of the contraption… thingy… They made it to the warp thingy (I say thingy too much) and waited for Raine and her group to press two buttons and just stand there like idiots.

(An hour later)

"Are they done yet?" Rin asked absentmindedly while hitting her head against the wall. There was already a bright red mark on her head from hitting it so much from boredom.

Sheena looked at the warp thing and replied with no sign of hope in the sound of her voice, "Not yet…"

"How long does it take for them to hit two buttons!" Lloyd complained.

(At the place where Raine and her group was at…)

"Almost there…" Genis said inching his way to hit the last button. They had been wandering forever and they somehow managed to find the first one but the second on took much more time.

"Get on with it Genis! It's not like we're dying or anything…" Colette replied.

"Okay… you never let me have fun…" Genis complained as he hit the button.

(Back at Lloyd's group)

"Is it really glowing or is this a mirage?" Rin asked the group.

"I think it is…" Lloyd replied.

They went inside and found Kvar talking to some white haired guy who had on a black, ninja-like outfit on. (It's not Pronyma… She isn't in this story… let's just say she died… mmkay?)

"Hmm… So this is Lloyd? He does bear a resemblance… And the one beside him is… Rin I presume?" Said the white haired dude replied.

"Who is this guy?" Lloyd asked.

"Kvar, don't let them escape… or you will suffer the consequences… Understand?" The white haired guy's voice echoed through the room.

"Yes sir! I will destroy them!" Kvar said to the dude.

"Yes… I must be on my way then…" And with that, the dude left.

"Well, now is the time to die I suppose…" Said Kvar to them.

"You're the one who's gonna die Kvar!" Lloyd said starting the battle

They started the battle, Lloyd, Rin and Sheena in the front stopping Kvar from casting ('cept when he's in over limit) And Kratos at the back of the battlefield healing them or using magic attacks on him.

"Ugh! When is he gonna die?" Lloyd said getting hit from him.

"Lloyd! Give me those boxers!" Rin shouted to him.

"Okay… why?" Lloyd said getting them from his bag. He handed them to her and she said to him, "Lloyd, distract him! I have to do this!"

"Alright!" He shouted back at her.

She ran behind Kvar while they were occupying him with their attacks, she pulled the boxers over his head so that he couldn't see, and Kvar shouted, "AHHH! THEY AREN'T CLEAN! AND THEY SMELL TOO! AGH!"

Lloyd took this opportunity to stab Kvar in the chest. When Lloyd pulled out his sword, Kratos ran up and sliced him while saying, "Feel the pain," (Slash) "Of those inferior beings," (Slash) "As you burn in hell!" (puts sword away)

Kvar died there, he's dead for sure. Raine programmed the ranch to explode and they escaped. When they were safe and sound, Lloyd asked Raine what happened.

"Why did you guys take so long to activate the warp thingy…" Lloyd asked.

"We… were… umm… disoriented in our surroundings and we… wandered around…" Raine admitted reluctantly.

"You had us wait over an hour…" Sheena said upset that they took so long.

"Well, Genis was the one who…" Colette began.

"Who what?" Rin asked.

"Umm… I forgot…"

"… You amaze me Colette…" Rin added.

They set up camp and they went to bed… (how boring)

(SKIT ALERT)  
Title: Raine's Hair

"Raine? I have a question… Why does you hair almost never moves?" Rin asked.

"Wh-what?" Raine asked back.

"Your hair… It stays the same every day… Why?"

"… I don't know…"

"I-I did it!"

"Did what?"

"I asked you a question you don't know the answer to! This is a happy day!" Rin said celebrating.

"You have mental problems…"

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**'Kay! Reviews! Please and Thankies!**


	9. What's Wrong With Genis?

**Yay! Woo hoo! I typed up the story with a tall glass of chocolate milk sitting by my laptop... then I drank it all and left it on my desk... then it started to smell... so I put it the sink... Interesting huh? Well, read and enjoy... **

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They woke up around eight-ish and decided to go to the Tower of Mana. But unfortunately for them, it was locked, as always. Raine was really the only one disappointed. Rin had suggested they go back to Hima and see if there was anything they could find to unlock the door. They arrived and heard some commotion at the front of the Inn, so being the eavesdroppers they are, they decided to look into it. They saw the same monster that Rin had described as Clara. She was being killed by some swordsmen and a mage, but before it could die, it ran into Raine who fell backwards, and Raine's head hit Colette's head and she fell over. Clara disappeared and dropped the key to the tower.

"Hey, it dropped this…" Genis said as he picked up the key.

"Your so insensitive, Genis… Calling the poor thing "it" …" Rin said scolding Genis.

"You said it was a thing just now!" Genis argued.

"Forget it! Dunce!"

"Hey!" Genis said as her ran to her trying to hit her. But since he was so short, all Rin had to was stick her arm out and hold on to his head to keep him from hitting her.

"Midget." Rin replied.

"At the least, we should go to the Tower of Mana, I think there is a book that can teach me a technique to heal the retard." Raine said to the group.

"Really? Okay! We can kill two birds with one stone!" Colette replied.

"Umm… Colette, you usually don't say anything about killing stuff…" Lloyd said to Colette.

"… Oh… Sorry." Colette said.

They made their way to the Tower of Mana and Rin explained that three people have to stand in the circles and one group has to make their way to the next few floors. Lloyd, Colette, and Kratos went up the stairs and left Rin, Raine, Sheena, and the midget on the first floor. Soon a door in front of them opened and they entered. Rin lead them all of the way. But when they got to the room where you have to move all of the blocks so that they reflect to the light things, Genis said something very disturbing to Rin.

"Yo! This place is whack! Fo shizzle my nizzle, I drizzle a camarazizzle! Word up dawg!" Said Genis to a very disturbed Rin. (Okay… TRY imagining Genis say that… just TRY!)

"G-Genis? What the hell is going on? This isn't right! Genis is supposed to be a nerd/pipsqueak/runt/ midget/know-it-all… but this is insane!" Rin complained.

"… (sigh) And I was trying my best to hide it too…" Raine sighed.

"… I add no comment to that…" Sheena said not believing what she just heard.

They ignored Genis and continued to go through the tower. They later grouped up and fought/defeated the monster (Lubaris… or something like that…) Colette then talked to her fake daddy who said that they were almost done with their journey, and that they need to go to the Tower of Salvation to complete the regeneration. On the way out, Raine had taken Boltzman's Book, to use on the retard. So they left the tower and when they exited Colette couldn't talk anymore! (Yes! Score!)

"(inhale)" Colette breathed.

"What's wrong Colette?" Lloyd asked.

"(exhale)" What do you think? I can't talk! Colette thought.

"I would assume she's lost her voice." Kratos replied.

"We'll let's set up camp…" Raine added.

With camp set up they went on with the long boring conversation of Sheena, the moon, another world, killing Colette, Lord Remiel and his gown… (Oops… I added that last part…)

The next morning Colette asked, by means of writing on Lloyd's hand (Grrr!) "What about the retard?"

Raine had mentioned that the book said something about a unicorn horn. She had also mentioned that a unicorn was supposedly seen at Lake Umacy. So they left to Lake Umacy to see the unicorn under the water (When I first saw it, I thought it was dead… you know… drowned…)

Rin said that the only way to get to the unicorn was to summon Undine, the water summon spirit. And that they had a summoner on their team.

"What? Who? Is it you?" Lloyd asked.

"No! It's Sheena!" Rin replied.

"Really? Wow! That's cool! Can we summon Undine?"

"That's up to Sheena…" Rin said as she looked at Sheena.

"W-Well, I haven't made a pact yet, but if I can make a pact, then I can summon Undine…" Sheena replied.

"Okay then! Let's go!" Lloyd said.

"You don't even know where we're going… do you?" Rin asked.

"N-Not really…"

"(sigh) Whatever… Let's ride Winery… It's a long way after all…"

"W-Winery? Who's that?" Sheena asked.

"Oh, she's my friend, you'll see." Rin replied.

A few minutes later Winery came, after Rin yelled her lungs out calling her. (Colette must be thinking, "It's not fair, I wish I could yell…")

They got on Winery as follows from head to tail: Rin, Lloyd, Kratos, Sheena, and Raine. Where are Colette and Genis? Well, Genis held on to the left wing and Colette the right.

It took Winery a whole ten minutes trying to get in the air, but somehow… she managed…

They were over the ocean when Winery started to lose her strength.

"No! We're almost there!" Rin shouted.

Winery continued to descend toward the water. If they fell in, they would die.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THE WATER!" Raine yelled.

The geyser was in sight, if they flew for a minute they would make it.

"Come on Winery! You can do it!" Rin shouted again.

It was no use, she was still descending.

"You'll get treats! I promise!" Rin yelled to her.

"(Gotta do it for the treats! RAWR!)" Winery said to herself.

She flapped her wings harder and faster trying to stop them from descending. Colette and Genis were not having a good time… if you're wondering…

Rin looked and saw that if they kept at the rate they were going, they would live… but it wouldn't be pretty…

Suddenly, Winery lost her energy. "We can make it!" Rin yelled to the others.

"Thank Martel, we're not gonna drown…" Raine replied.

They were descending very quickly, they could manage to get there, but not unscathed.

"Mayday! Mayday! Look out below!" Rin shouted to the people down at the geyser.

Winery then landed… umm… crashed on the tiny island.

Colette and Genis were bent over, acting as if they were going to vomit. Raine was kissing the ground, thanking Martel for not letting them drown. Lloyd just asked, "Can we do that again?"

Rin simply replied, "I never want to crash-land a Wyvern again…"

Kratos just brushed himself off and Sheena stood up, wobbly at first, but standing up none the less.

They made their way into the cavern place and went to the seal room.

"Pact! Pact!" Genis said with Colette doing a little dance.

"Okay… But you guys could die… Pact making is very dangerous…" She replied.

"It's okay Sheena, you can do it! I saw it! Plus, I made up a little motivational cheer. (clears throat) Sheena! Sheena! She's our girl! If she can't do it I will hurl!" Rin said putting her finger in her mouth to act as if she's going to vomit.

"T-Thank you?" She asked.

She went on with the pact, fought Undine, defeated Undine, and went out of the geyser… room… place. Where they set up camp for the rest of the night.

(SKIT ALERT)  
Title: ... No More...

"(sigh) There's no more hair..." Rin sighed.

"And that's bad why?" Lloyd asked.

"You don't get it do you? Making fun of other people's hair entertains me..."

"Gee... Thanks..."

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**Yay! Sorry it took so long... I was on the phone with my friend... and I can't talk and type at the same time... it's probably the only thing I can't do while talking on the phone... Well, anyway... Please review! Thankies! Oh! I almost forgot! If you have any questions pertaining to the story, then feel free to email, PM, or submit a review with your question attached to it! Have a great day! (smiles retardedly)**


	10. The Power of Espresso

**Yay! I think this is my fav chappie! (so far) Well! Read and enjoy! I typed up this chappie while listening to... (sigh) my old A.C. CD... If you want to know what it stands for... well, PM me or something... Read! Now!**

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The group went back to Lake Umacy and Sheena successfully summoned Undine and they were able to go across, until they had to decide who will go see it…

"Only pure maidens can approach the unicorn, so Genis, Lloyd, Kratos, and I are out…" Raine said clearly not wanting to go across the water.

"So that leaves Colette and Rin…" Lloyd said.

"I think you forgot someone… " Rin replied.

"Hey! I'm not qualified?" Sheena asked.

"Qualified?" Lloyd and Genis repeated in unison.

"Y-You don't have to say it at the same time…"

"Well, you can go Sheena, I don't feel like goin'…" Rin said to Sheena (I'm so lazy…)

"Okay… let's go Colette…" Sheena said stepping to the water's edge.

You think you're all that just because you can talk, huh! Well, I will rise up! And I will rule the world! Mwahahaha! Oops! I mean, I love the world, and all who inhabit it… heh heh… Colette thought.

"(inhale)" Colette breathed as she walked up to Sheena. Sheena summoned Undine, floated over to the unicorn, got it's horn, the unicorn disappeared… or died… and they came back to the group. They then left to Hima, to go to the top of the mountain to see that old guy and his pitiful dragons.

"Hey, have you ever wanted to get up close to the Tower of Salvation? Well, for only 10,000 gald, you can do that." Said the old guy trying to impress them.

"Please! Your pitiful dragons are no match for my Winery!" Rin gloated.

"Winery? Who's that?" The man asked a bit confused.

"My Wyvern!" Rin exclaimed.

"W-Wyvern!"

"We shouldn't rely on Winery for this… We nearly died on our trek to the Seal of Water…" Kratos added.

"Yeah… you're right… Hey, dude!" Rin said to the guy.

"Y-Yes?" The guy replied.

"We need a dragon or two… can you supply them for us?" Rin asked.

"W-What! No! Your Wyvern eats little dragons for breakfast! No way!"

"What! This is for the world regeneration journey! You have to!" Rin said yelling at him while she grabbed his collar and shook him madly.

"O-Okay! Let me go! I'll do it!" The guy said while he was being shaken like a rag doll.

"Okay! Let's rest you guys! We have a big day tomorrow!" Rin said as she dropped the guy on the ground.

They stayed at the Inn where Lloyd asked Kratos a question…

"Hey, Kratos… I was wondering… how old are you?" Lloyd asked.

"… Umm… Well…" Kratos stuttered.

"Four thous- I mean he's forty… Isn't that right, Kratos?" Rin said elbowing Kratos in the stomach silently telling him to agree with her.

"Y-Yes… I'm forty…" Kratos said putting his hand over his face.

"Wow… You're THAT old?" Lloyd asked.

"Y-Yes…" Kratos replied.

"Old geezer…" Lloyd said under his breath.

"I heard that!"

"Heh… Well, I gotta go… Work on my beauty sleep… bye!" Rin said as she made her way up to her room.

The next day the group went up to the hill/mountain and Kratos and Colette got on one dragon while Rin and the others went on Winery. (If you're wondering, she got her treat… it was a dog… don't tell Colette… 'kay?) Kratos and Colette went first, for the guy wanted to at least give his dragon a head start if Winery was going to go after it. After ten minutes of waiting the man let them go; they arrived a few minutes later. But Colette wasn't waiting for them. They dismissed the thought and continued on. They made their way through the tower and saw that caskets of dead Chosens floated about. (I always wondered how they float)

They continued till they saw Colette praying at the altar. Remiel descended down and Colette looked at her fake daddy. (Gonna speed through to when Remiel fights the group, I can't stand watching Lloyd and Colette touch… GRRRR!)

They fought Remiel and defeated him. Rin was jumping on his dead body yelling, "Die! Die! Die! Die!" She was still sugar-high from the coffee she had before they flew to the tower.

Kratos appeared and they fought him, and they kept fighting until a mysterious figure appeared. The figure had white hair and dark blue eyes, he walked forward and told Kratos, "Lord Kratos, Lord Yggdrasill requests your presence."

"Hey! I know that guy!" Rin replied.

"You do?" Lloyd asked.

"Yeah… No I don't. I lied…"

"(sigh)"

"Humph… very well… Can you handle this?" Kratos asked the white haired dude.

The guy looked at them and replied, "Easily."

And with that Kratos teleported out of the room.

"Get ready!" The dude replied as he took out his duel katanas. (Umm… they're like two samurai swords… one shorter than the other… I think…)

They then started the battle. The group was losing really badly until Rin walked away and took something from her bag and started a fire.

"Rin, what are you doing?" Lloyd asked while he was attacking the white haired dude.

"I'm making ESPRESSO!" Rin said triumphantly.

"Now's not the time for that!" Raine added.

"You'll see! YOU'LL ALL SEE! MWAHAHAHA!" Rin laughed like a maniac.

"We have to switch her to decaf…" Lloyd said to the others.

"Definitely…" Raine and Genis said in unison.

"It's DONE! MWAHAHAHA!" Laughed Rin as she spooned sugar into the suspiciously large coffee mug.

"NOW! YOU WILL SEE THE TRUE POWER OF COFFEE! … or espresso…" Rin yelled drinking the sugar-filled drink.

"Oh no… She's sugar-high again…" Lloyd complained.

"Huh?" The dude replied as he saw Rin throw the mug to the side.

"Take cover!" Genis shouted running to Raine to hide behind her.

"Yay! Sugar is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun!" Shouted Rin as she ran around everyone at dangerously high speeds.

"What the?" Asked the dude.

"Too slow!" Rin yelled as she punched him in the face.

"Gah!" The dude said.

Suddenly, Lord Yggdrasill appeared. "I see she isn't any match for you, Kemix…"

"My Lord!" Kemix said as he bent over and bowed.

"You look soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gay… Gay-Lord Yggy… It has a nice ring to it! HAHAHAHAHA!" Rin laughed.

"Why you little- Kratos retrieve her, we are going to use her." Lord Yggy commanded.

"Yes, Lord… heh… Yggdrasill…" Said Kratos amused by Rin's Gay-Lord comment.

Kratos went over and hit the back of Rin's neck (you know, in movies… how they just hit their neck and they're knocked out… yeah like that…) and he threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Hey! What are you gonna do with her!" Lloyd asked.

"Nothing of your concern." Kratos barked. And with that, Kratos vanished.

The Renegades appeared and quickly got Colette and everyone else and teleported out of the tower.

"(sigh) Renegades, as irritating as ever… it is of little consequence… We at least have her…" Yggy said to particularly no one, since Kemix was thinking, She isn't from this world either…

At the Cruxis base…

"Ugh… Where am I?" Rin asked herself. She looked around and saw that she was in a cell.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IS THIS GOING TO GO ON MY PERMANENT RECORD! I'VE HAD A CLEAN SLATE, UNTIL NOW! WHAAA!" Rin said as she started to cry.

She heard footsteps and stopped crying. It was Kemix and Kratos. They opened the cell door and took her out. Kratos took one arm and Kemix the other. Usually, she would protest to them grabbing her arm and dragging her around, but she still didn't have all of her strength back, so it wouldn't be the best idea to protest.

"Where are you taking me?" Rin asked.

"(sigh) We're taking you to… help Lord Yggdrasill with his (sigh) wardrobe…" Kratos admitted.

"I don't wanna!" Said Rin flailing around.

"Stop moving!" Kemix said to her. But, since she was still sugar-high, she was flailing at high speeds. And since she had long legs, her foot landed on Kemix's face. Kemix then let go of her arm and she tugged at her other arm freeing it from Kratos' grasp. She then ran for the exit, but Kemix quickly threw a cluster of shuriken at Rin. But somehow, Rin jumped over twenty feet in the air and dodged the cluster. But the thing was… she didn't land.

"What the!" Rin asked, still floating in the air. She looked behind her, and she saw navy blue angel wings!

"Holy crap! What just happened!" Rin asked again.

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**I know I sound like a broken record but you know what I want so I won't say anything... REVIEWS! PLEASE AND THANKIES! S-Sorry for the outburst...**


	11. Enter: The Psychic Chick

**Well, sorry that took so long... I've had a headache for the past few days... and sometimes I just didn't feel like typing anything... I'm soooooooooooo lazy... so yeah... Please read and enjoy!**

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"Amazing! We just put the Exphere on her and it already evolved into a Cruxis Crystal!" Kratos said in amazement.

"Hold up! You're saying that you guys put a Exphere on me… and it turned into a Cruxis Crystal? Well, where is it? I don't see it anywhere!" Rin asked as she searched madly for the crystal.

"It's on your chest." Kemix simply stated.

Rin then flew down and slapped both of them.

"What was that for?" Kemix asked holding his face in pain.

"You could have placed it anywhere else, but NO! You didn't want to put it on my hand, you wanted to put it on my chest!" Rin said to them.

"Kemix, I want you to take care of her… Make sure she doesn't leave. I'm going to tell Lord Yggdrasill about this…" Kratos said turning around to leave.

"Wait! Why did it turn into a Cruxis Crystal so fast? Was I knocked out for like five years or something?"

"Perhaps it is the high sugars in your body, plus your adrenalin which made it possible… Hmmm… This is very interesting… Kemix, don't let her leave! (sigh) Lord Yggdrasill still needs her." Kratos said while teleporting out of the room.

"Okay… it's Rin, right?" Kemix asked.

"Y-Yeah…" Rin replied.

"You aren't from this world… Are you?"

"Y-Yeah… Of coarse I am… Heh he…" Said a somewhat nervous Rin.

"I know you aren't, you're from another world… Am I right?"

"N-No… I'm from Sylvarant… Really!"

"Liar! Tell me now!"

"Fine… I'm from a place called Earth… happy?"

"How did you get here?"

"Well… lets see… my Gamecube fizzles, I touch disc, this ugly black and white swirly thing sucks me in, and I hit the ground… hard mind you… anything else? Do you want me to name the Presidents of the United States, in song?"

"I see… The same thing happened to you too… Hmmm…"

"What do you mean, 'The same thing happened to you too'? And seriously, I can name all of the Presidents, in song…"

"Well, I come from the same world you do." (OMG! You didn't see that coming!)

"What the H-E double hockey sticks?"

"… Well, yes, the same thing happened to me… But, I must fulfill Lord Kratos' wish…" Said Kemix taking out his white wings.

"Holy crud! You have wings too?" Rin asked in amazement.

"Do you really think that a member of Cruxis wouldn't have wings?"

"Well, ummm… I don't know…"

"I cannot let you leave!" Kemix said running… I mean, flying to Rin, who was looking around nervously trying to find a way to avoid a fight.

Kemix flew towards her and took out his katanas. Rin, well, she was panicking. This was her first fight in the air.

"I DON'T WANNA DIE!" Rin yelled at the top of her lungs to Kemix who was, unfortunately, right in front of her. Kemix held his ears in pain. And Rin flew around looking desperately for an exit. But Kemix chased her, still holding his ears in pain mind you.

"God! You're like a stalker that never quits! Leave me alone! What did I ever do to you?" Rin complained.

"Well, I have nothing against you, but I have to keep you here. It's Lord Yggdrasill's wish." Kemix replied.

"Please! It's not my fault that his outfit makes him look gay!"

Rin looked around and saw a big sign that said, "EXIT, SALIDA"

"Okay… Why is there a sign here that says exit in Spanish? Oh well!" And with that Rin flew as fast as she could to the exit (or salida) without flying into the walls, which wasn't very fast… Since she flew in to almost everything which got in her way… She finally made her way to what seemed like the transportation thingy that the Renegades use to teleport between worlds. She jumped in and turned around to see Kemix throwing some more shuriken at her.

"Do you have like a never ending supply of them or something?" Rin asked while dodging a cluster of shuriken.

Suddenly there was a flash of light. Rin had disappeared.

"Crap! How am I going to explain this to Lord Yggdrasill?" Kemix asked himself.

"AGH! I… Think… I'm… Going to… Vomit…!" Rin yelled as she was teleported to Tethe'alla. And once again, she landed… hard.

"I hate this…" Rin said as she got up. She had noticed that she was in front of the Grand Tethe'alla Bridge.

"This is great! I'll just wait for them here!" Rin said as she sat down waiting for the group to show.

Five long hours later…

"What the heck? Where are they?" Rin yelled to herself as her right eyebrow twitched with anger.

She then heard voices coming from the bridge, it sounded like the members of the group. She stood up and said to them, "Stop! In the name of love! Before you break my heart!"

"Hmm… I think I'm in love!" Zelos exclaimed.

"Rin? You're alive?" Lloyd asked.

"Alive? Well of coarse! What do you guys think happened to me? Did you think I died?" Rin replied with a smile. Dying wouldn't be very fun, now would it? She thought to herself.

"Well it's good to have you back!" Genis said jumping up and down.

"Well, let's see… these two are Zelos and Presea… Right?" Rin asked them.

"Whoa! How did you know my name? Are you a devout groupie of mine?" Zelos asked with a smile.

"No I'm not… But my friend is… (sigh) How can she like a guy like that?" Rin mumbled under her breath.

"Well, we're going-" Raine was interrupted by Rin who said, "We're going to Sybak to see if we can get a treatment for Colette, who's soul has disappeared and is now standing at death's door… am I right?"

"Y-Yeah…" Lloyd replied.

"What the… How'd she know that?" Zelos asked in disbelief.

"Yo, I'm a psychic, duh!" Rin replied.

"Hmm… So… I'm gonna call you The Psychic Chick!" Zelos said with a smile.

"What kind of nickname is that?"

"Well, it's better that Super Gorgeous Ultra Cool Beauty… Or whatever he called me…" Raine sighed.

"I pity you Raine, really I do…" Rin said to her.

"Well, let's go!" Genis said to the group.

They arrived at Sybak and heard the boring discussion about Expheres, parasites… and whatnot… Lloyd made Colette the Key Crest and gave it to her, but it didn't work.

"Well, maybe my dad knows something about it… we can go back to Sylvarant and find the cure there!" Lloyd said to the group.

"Wait, I'm supposed to keep tabs on you guys. You can't just go to another world." Zelos argued.

"Come on Zelos! You can keep tabs on us there!" Genis said.

"… Fine…" Zelos said giving in to their plea for help.

"Zelos! You have been caught plotting the destruction of Tethe'alla! We must… kill you… or capture you… or make you wear this outfit…" The guard said holding up a pink frilly dress with pink high heels and pink umbrella to match.

"THE… HORROR!" Rin yelled recalling the outfit Genis had chosen for her.

"Gah!" Lloyd said in pain as he was stuck with a needle the size of the Statue of Liberty's torch.

"N-Needles?" Rin asked starting to sweat.

"All criminals must undergo biological testing before they are taken away." Zelos said to the group.

"WHAT! THERE IS NO WAY I'M GETTING A SHOT!" Rin yelled running away from the guard trying to stick her with the needle.

"Sir, these two are-" Before the guard could finish, Rin kicked him in the head while trying to get away from that other guard. The guard slumped on the floor, knocked out.

"Rin, it's okay… It's just a little shot…" Lloyd said wincing in pain from the needle that was taken from his side.

"LITTLE? THAT THING IS ANYTHING BUT LITTLE! IT'S THE SIZE OF ZELOS' BIG, FAT, INFLATED, UGLY HEAD!" Rin yelled to him as she continued to run from the guards.

Rin was literally, running around in circles. That is, until she ran right into the Skeleton of that giant dragon. All of the bones piled on top of her, leaving only her arm hanging out of the rubble. A guard walked over and stuck the needle in. The Professor and Genis were already on their way out.

Genis suddenly said, "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" And they exited the building.

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**Well, yeah... Hey, I just realized... Presea didn't get one line in this chapter... And if you are wonderin' why there isn't a skit... it's because Rin is knocked out... so yeah... Review! Please and thankies!**


	12. Wahoo for Wendy's!

**Me: Well, I found this chapter to be very random... Well, everything in my mind _is _random ... What do you think Genis?**

**Genis: I just think you're retarted!**

**Me: ... I will NEVER forget you said that! (suddenly nice) Read and enjoy!**

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"Rin, you have to wake up." Rin heard a voice say.

"Five more minutes Mom…" Rin said still knocked out from the dragon bones falling on top of her.

"M-Mom? I'm not your mom!" the voice replied.

"Oh, sorry Dad… I'm not felling too good… I don't think I can go to school today…" Rin said with her eyes still closed.

"… Rin it's me, Lloyd… not your dad…" Lloyd said to her.

"I'm sick… I don't wanna go to school today…"

"Rin, wake up!" Said Lloyd shaking her.

"Wha? I'm up! I'm up! What happened?" Rin asked getting up.

"Well, you got squished by the dragon skeleton and the guard gave you a shot and Raine-" Before Lloyd could finish, Rin yelled,

"SHOT? AGHH!" Rin started running around the room sobbing, until she ran into a wall.

Later…

"Ugh… What… happened?" Rin asked regaining consciousness.

"Well, you ran around the room crying, and well… then you ran into a wall…" Lloyd replied to her.

"Oh… So that explains the blood on my head… Umm… What's up with Zelos and Presea?" Rin asked.

"Well, the guards just tossed them in this room and they landed on their heads."

"Oh… Let's wake them up…" Rin said going over to Presea to wake her up, and Lloyd to Zelos.

"Pinkie, wake up…" Rin said poking Presea. "Wake up Pink fluff… (silence) WAKE UP ALREADY!"

"I'm, like, up. Golly Gee… What's wrong with you?" Presea replied to the rude awakening.

"G-Golly Gee? Who are you and what have you done with Presea?"

"I'm Presea silly!" Presea replied with a smile.

"Oh my g-… Presea NEVER smiles!" Said Rin, eyes wide in horror.

"I say lad, don't shake me so vigorously…" Said Zelos in a British accent.

"Zelos, what's wrong with you?" Lloyd asked.

"I've never felt better nothing's wrong with me lad… I do say, you might want to put a bandage on that head of yours." Zelos said to Rin.

"Lloyd… something is horribly wrong here…" Rin said to Lloyd.

"Yeah…" He replied.

"LLOYD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM? AM I IN A PARALELL UNIVERSE?" (well, yes… sorta) "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Rin yelled to Lloyd while she shook him madly.

"I didn't do anything!" Lloyd replied.

"YES YOU DID! DON'T LIE!" Rin said as she _accidentally_ threw Lloyd across the room to where Sheena was poofing in.

"Hey guys, I came to get-" Sheena said as Lloyd was closing in at high speeds to her head. There was a really loud, KA-THUNK, and they both fell onto the floor.

"Ugh… That hurt…"Lloyd said getting up and putting his hand on his head.

"HOW CAN YOU GET UP AFTER A HIT LIKE THAT?" Rin yelled to him. Sheena was still on the floor, knocked out from Lloyd's thick-headedness.

"Rin…" Lloyd said as he stared passionately into her eyes.

"Wha?" Rin replied as Lloyd picked her up.

"I love you." He said to her.

"Wha? L-Lloyd… This is so… so sudden… But I'm not complaining!" Rin said with a smile that went from ear to ear. (Me: YES! I LOVE THIS PART)

"What's going on in here?" Said a half-elf who entered the room with a bag from Wendy's. It was Kate, but since when does she get to go to Wendy's?

"Well, Lloyd's in love with me, WHICH I DON'T MIND! Zelos is… I don't know… Sherlock Holmes or something… Presea is… perky… (shudders) and Sheena is…" Rin said when suddenly Sheena got up and struck that pointing pose of hers.

"It would appear that she is a manikin." Zelos said in that British accent.

"Either that or she's mentally challenged… _Real_ manikins don't breathe!" Rin added.

Sheena then took in a big breath of air and held it. They all watched in anticipation what was going to happen. Sheena then turned a very beautiful shade of purple, then blue, then red. Then, she collapsed on the floor, still breathing mind you.

"Presea? Is that you? It is! Please forgive me!" Kate said as she dropped her Wendy's bag (poor Spicy Chicken Sandwich) and ran over to Presea and dropped down to her eye level so she wouldn't have to look up to her. (she's so short… heh he… midget… heh he…)

"I forgive you silly! Loople doo! Wahoo!" Presea once again said with a smile.

"Please, stop smiling! You don't know how much it scares me…" Rin begged Presea.

"But… I love smiling! It takes more effort to frown then smile!" Said the smiling axe-wielder. _Must… Keep… Smiling…_ She thought.

"… Tell me again how much you love me…" Rin said to Lloyd.

"I love you more than the world itself!" He replied. (Me: AWWWWWWWWW!)

"I do say, is there an exit in this room… there has to be… that Wendy's bag is not from the inside, now is it?" Asked the British Zelos to Kate.

"Yes, there is… (chew) It's that bookcase over there (chew) (chew) (swallow) There's a good Wendy's right near there too… If you're interested…" Kate replied chewing on her sandwich.

"Oh… Why didn't I see it before?" Zelos asked now noticing the huge sign that said, "EXIT, SALIDA"

"Not with that sign again!" Rin complained recalling the sign at the Tower of Salvation.

They all exited out of the room, Zelos dragged Sheena out on account of him being so weak, Lloyd carried Rin out, and Presea stole Kate's fries… Sure there was some cursing and some blood, but Presea got her fries. But then they realized that they were missing someone, Colette. So they went back inside Kate's room and found Kate sitting on Colette, drinking her soda.

(Seriously… I forgot about her… Sorry Colette fans!)

"Kate! You're sitting on Colette! And you're getting blood on her!" Rin said to Kate, who was bleeding from her leg and arms and fingers on account of Presea's thirst for fries.

"Oh… I thought he academy got new sofas… sorry…" Kate said as she got up.

Colette got up and slapped Kate's drink out of her hand. Kate then retaliated by pulling Colette's stiff hair. They kept at it for at least an hour. Colette won the fight. She ended it by kicking poor Kate, who was on the ground, in the stomach. Finally they left. Colette, all bloody due to her meaningless fight with Kate, Presea nauseous from eating the fries too fast, Zelos exhausted that he had to drag the still knocked out Sheena, all the way out, and Lloyd happy that he was spending time with Rin (Still Me: This chappie rocks!)

They made their way to the bridge and somehow jumped across without any problem. (Now that's scary) They we're about to fight the guards when Presea said, "I will use my powers for the good of mankind!"

The battle started with, Rin, Lloyd, Presea, and Sheena. (Hey, Zelos needed a break… so I let him have one) Rin and Lloyd fought together side by side, Presea just smiled which caused some to scream in horror and jump into the water and drown, and Sheena… She just stood there… pointing… On the plus side, she poked this guy's eye out… They won the battle, and got Raine and Genis back.

Genis looked at the smiling Presea and said, "She looks creepy when she smiles… I don't like her anymore… (shudders)"

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**YAY! So happy! And yes, the part where Rin goes, "...I'm not feeling too good..." It happens to me too... Anywho... Reviews! Please and Thankies! By the way, I want to know which character you think is the most random! Just put it on a review... or somethin'... The votes will be tallied and there will be a winner! (If anyone votes...)**


	13. Yuan the Sunflower

**Sorry, but I didn't feel like typing during vacation... Well, yah... R&R!**

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"I like you Genis!" Said the smiling Presea to the utterly disturbed Genis.

"Well, I don't!" Genis simply stated.

"Awww… Genis, you look good with her!" Raine smiled.

"Sis! Who's side are you on?" Genis asked.

"Okay, now… SHUT UP! We should go get the rheiards at Mt. Fooji, right Zelos?" Rin asked.

"Yes, yes… we should hurry on… But I do say… can someone else carry the well-chested one?" Zelos asked in his creepy British accent.

"I know! Noishe can carry her!" Lloyd said still carrying Rin.

So they all went to Mt. Fooji, and went to the tippy top where the trap was. Everyone but Colette was trapped.

Suddenly, Kemix appeared. "Rin, is purple a straight color?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" She replied.

"It's not gay? Right?"

"Well-" But before Rin could finish, Lord Yggdrasill appeared and was in Kratos' purple outfit. Then Kratos appeared and he was in his judgment outfit (The one with the straps)

"I… need to go to the… bathroom…" Kratos said crossing his legs.

"You should have thought of going _before_ we came! Anyway, Rin! Tell me! Do I look gay in this outfit?" Yggy asked.

"AGH! IT BURNS! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" Rin yelled while shielding her eyes with her hands.

"Hmmm… Kemix! You said purple was a straight color! You lie!"

"But Kratos doesn't look gay in it!" Kemix argued.

"Everything you touch is gay Lord Yggy." Rin interrupted.

"GRRRR! … (sniff) I'm going home to cry my eyes out… (sniff) Retrieve Colette, kill them all, and bring me some chocolate doughnuts… YOUR MASTER HAS SPOKEN! … And put sprinkles on them will you?" Lord Yggy said as he flew into the sky with his gay-lordish wings.

"Kratos has to go potty!" Kratos said while referring to himself in third-person. And with that Kratos flew with Yggy, but with his legs crossed.

"Okay… Now le me kill you all so that I won't have that much trouble getting Colette." Kemix started as he took out his two katanas.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Genis yelled while running around everyone.

"It's okay Genis, we'll die together!" Said Presea with another smile on her face and while hugging Genis.

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!" Genis yelled as he tried to pull away from Presea. It wasn't working…

"By Jove! I think I've done it!" The creepy Zelos said to them all. "You! Smiling freak of nature! Toss the well chested one to the one with the two swords!"

Presea picked up Sheena and then hurled it to Lloyd. (You know, Kemix has two and Lloyd has two… )

"Lloyd! Are you okay? Presea! Nobody throws Sheena at him without my say in it!" Rin said as she started beating Presea.

"Yeah! Beat her till she stops smiling!" Genis cheered.

_They're killing each other… Now's my chance to grab Colette without being noticed… _Kemix thought as he crept closer and closer to Colette.

Rin then threw Presea at Kemix and just because she felt like it, she threw Sheena at him too.

"Take that! You pink demon from the underworld!" Rin said.

"Wh-What happened?" Asked Sheena getting up. "For some reason, I feel like pointing at nothing…"

"My… face hurts from smiling too much…" Presea said with an expressionless face.

"They're back!" Rin yelled.

"I'm in love again!" Genis said jumping up and down with joy.

"What's going on? My arms hurt from carrying Rin." Lloyd said getting up.

"Please… no… Lloyd do you like me?" Rin asked wondering if he still liked her.

"As a friend yes…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rin yelled as she started to cry.

"Get off!" Kemix commanded as Presea still sat on him.

Presea got off and Kemix stood up and opened his wings (opened, showed, displayed… whatever…)

"GASP! Why do you have white wings? Colette has pink, Kratos blue, Yggy pink, and Yuan light pink! Why is that?" Raine asked. (When I was typing this I typed white wigs… HAHAHAHA!)

"How do you know Yuan has light pink wings when you never met him with them on?" Kemix asked.

"He's standing right there." Raine simply stated.

"I don't see him." Lloyd said.

Raine then pointed to the giant sunflower that had Yuan's face on it.

"How did you see through my disguise?" The sunflower asked.

"… Do we really need to state the obvious?" Raine asked.

"…" Suddenly something beeped. It was Yuan's watch. "Look, I have to go do my gardening, so bye!" And with that, the giant sunflower flew into the horizon, to do it's gardening.

"Okay, I'm gonna have nightmares about this, and when I go insane from lack of sleep, I WILL SUE YOU ALL!" Genis yelled to his freaked out companions.

Colette then walked over to the device which controlled the trap and kicked it. She walked over to Genis and pulled his hair for no specific reason and picked up Kemix and threw him over the edge of the mountain. But she forgot that Kemix had wings so he flew back up, but Colette was ready for him, she took out her chakrams and threw them at him. (What's with all of the throwing?) He then fell down and stayed down there for an hour, regained consciousness, and went to the local Dunkin' Doughnuts to buy chocolate sprinkled doughnuts.

"Hey, if throwing Sheena, Lloyd (sob), and Presea got them back to normal, then we should do it to Zelos!" Rin said as she picked him up and threw him at the foot of the mountain.

They walked down to see Zelos in a chimeras' mouth. He was all bloody and mangled.

"Not the face!" Zelos yelled as he got bitten by the chimera.

"Yup! It worked!" Rin said proudly.

"H-Help m-me…" Zelos begged.

"I wonder…" Rin then smiled and picked up Colette and threw her at the chimera. The chimera fled in terror while Zelos was freed from it's grasp.

"I had the strangest dream… I was fighting with this woman who sat on me and Presea smiled and Zelos was being eaten by a chimera and Sheena was pointing? … Lloyd was in love with Rin and Genis was terrified of Presea and Kemix had to get Lord Yggy chocolate sprinkled doughnuts… Oh, and Kratos had to pee." Colette said to them all.

"… You mean she was up this whole time?" Rin asked.

"I wonder why their wings are different colors? Colette! May I dissect- I mean look at your wings thoroughly?" Raine asked with pupil-less eyes.

"Get away from me freak!" Colette yelled.

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**Yay! The polls are still opened for the most random character thing... Have fun and vote!**


	14. Strawberry Shortcake!

**Sorry it took so long... I am seriously half asleep... Please enjoy!**

* * *

"Well, I think the next best move would be to get inside Meltokio and see if we can get across the bridge." Zelos said to the group this time without his British accent.

"Yeah… Let's go…" Said the very droopy Rin.

"Why are you so down Rin?" Lloyd asked being the complete moron he is and forgetting the crying and the sadness Rin went through last chapter.

"SUDDENLY YOU CARE!" Rin yelled and then went back to crying.

"… I don't get it… Why did she snap at me?" Asked Lloyd.

"(sigh) You are so hopeless it's not even funny Lloyd…" Genis sighed.

"We'll make our way there in the morning, it's getting dark rather quickly." Raine said pointing out the obvious.

After everyone was done with their dinner, Colette asked if anyone wanted dessert. Rin agreed to have some, but Colette offered her only a few choices…

"There's shortcake, fruit cocktail… umm… sandwich?" Colette said to Rin.

"Give me the one that's the most fattening…" Rin ordered.

"So… Shortcake?"

"Yes! Strawberry Shortcake! Jump and clap and turn around!" Rin said remembering that horrible song and doing the hand motions.

Colette just stared at her.

"What? I can't sing the Strawberry Shortcake song?"

"… Are you brain-dead?"

"… Just give it to me already…"

Later, when Colette was done making the shortcake…

Rin finished scarfing the shortcake, and she said, "I just remembered… I'm allergic to strawberries…" She then started to vomit everywhere.

"Ewww… I swear, on the name of the Goddess Martel, I will never make another cake that is tall or short in anyway ever again."

The next morning Raine tried to heal Rin, but every time she tried using her magic power to heal her, Raine got thrown up upon. So she gave up. They made their way to Meltokio and waited for Zelos to show them the way.

"I'll show you guys the way… But someone has to do something for me first." Zelos said to them.

"Like what?" Lloyd asked.

"One of the ladies will have to give me a smooch. If they don't, then you won't get in!"

"Who's side are you on?" Genis questioned.

"So… Who will it be?" Zelos asked looking around.

"One… Two… Three…" Colette started.

"NOT IT!" Colette, Presea, Sheena, and Raine yelled at the same time.

Rin didn't know what was going on, since she was vomiting behind a bush.

"I don't feel so well…" Rin said as she walked over to the group.

"Rin! Darling! Wash your mouth before you kiss me please!" Zelos said to his victim.

"Kiss? I don't get it."

"You have to kiss Zelos so we can get in Meltokio." Lloyd said.

"Zelos, I refuse to kiss you." Rin simply stated.

"But you have to." Zelos replied.

"If you don't show us the way, I'll vomit all over you and your hair."

"Hmmm… That's fair enough…" Zelos said touching his hair.

The made their way through the sewers and caught up with the three convicts. The group beat them up until they gave in.

"Hah! No one can beat me!" Rin gloated.

Suddenly, a blue haired guy fell from the… ceiling? And landed on Rin and her back.

The shock from the guy landing on her made Rin vomit all over the floor. "Lloyd… Do I really have to ask?" Rin said to Lloyd.

"Ummm… Promise me you'll never eat strawberry shortcake again, okay?" Lloyd asked.

"Believe me, a girl can do only so much vomiting in one day."

"Good. Now… Blue haired muscle guy… Can you get off her?"

"Stand back, this girl is ready to throw up everywhere… And I'm not afraid to use her." Said the blue man.

"How are you gonna use me?" Rin asked.

"Like this." The blue dude replied as he lifted his leg the brought it down with enough force to knock-out a horse, causing Rin to projectile vomit on Zelos and his hair.

"M-My… h-hair…" Zelos said crying over his hair.

"Where is all of this vomit coming from?" Rin asked.

Suddenly, Presea walked over to the blue guy and swung her axe.

"You remind me of my lover… I LOVE YOU!" Regal said as he dodged her axe and realized that Presea reminded him of his lover, and automatically fell in love with her.

"Ewww…" Presea said.

"ONLY _I_ CAN LOVE HER!" Genis said while shooting fireballs at him.

"No… My love… I will come back for you!" And with that, Blue (from Blue's Clues) left the sewers.

"That was weird…" Lloyd said to the group.

They then left the sewers and walked all the way to the Research Academy, talked to Kuchinawa, and agreed to wait a day to get the Elemental Cargo.

They then went to Zelos' mansion, where they met Sebastian.

"Sir, why is your hair coated with vomit?" Sebastian asked.

"… Don't remind me… (sob) (cry)" Zelos cried.

"Hey, I feel a lot better!" Rin said with happiness.

"Who wants dessert?" Colette asked the group.

"COLETTE! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THE WORD 'DESSERT' FOR AWHILE!" Rin yelled.

"I'm kidding! It's barley lunch time!" Colette replied.

The day passed by rather quickly, not for Zelos though. It took him six full hours of washing his hair to get the vomit out. But, when everyone was done eating and showering, they had a party. They decided to play Truth or Dare.

"Sheena! Truth or Dare?" Zelos asked grinning uncontrollably.

"Truth, because I refuse to do anything you tell me to do." Sheena replied.

"Darn! Well, tell me! Do you think I'm sexy?"

"No way José!"

"(sob)"

"Okay! My turn! Rin! Truth or Dare!" Colette asked.

"Dare! But don't make me kiss Zelos or something…" Rin said.

"Okay… Let's see… I dare you to go into that dark hallway and say, 'Take me now!'"

"Okay…" Rin said as she got up and walked to the dark hallway. The group then heard her say, "Take me now!"

"Wow, Colette. I didn't know you were into that sort of stuff." Sheena said.

"Some say that if you do that, an evil spirit will come during the dead of night and steal your soul." Raine said with pupil-less eyes.

"TAKE IT BACK RIN!" Yelled Colette with tears in her eyes.

Rin was inches away from sitting down and reluctantly turned around and walked into the hallway and said, "Cancel that last request."

(SKIT ALERT!)

Title: Presea's Hair

"Hey Presea?" Rin asked.

"…" Presea ignored her.

"Presea? Hello? Anyone home?"

"…"

"I was wondering… When you spin around to lets say the right side… Why does your left pig-tail go up and your right go down?"

"…"

"I'll ask you when you have a soul…"

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**Yes... Polls are still open! Don't be shy... So sleepy... Review... Please... (snores)**


	15. Tanning Can Be Suicidal

**Yes, here I am... If you're wondering, I'm not sleepy anymore... I slept for 13 hours... Hah... And I had a dream that I was at school and a monkey was giving me lunch... Well, read and enjoy!**

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"What do you mean 'Rin tried to commit suicide'!" Lloyd asked just waking up and alarmed at the news he just heard.

"You heard me… She's gone mental. The only thing we can do now is to put her under…" Raine said with no sign of any expression in her voice.

"Professor you're scaring me…" Lloyd replied noticing she didn't have any pupils.

"Well, we found this in her room." Raine said snapping back to reality and handing Lloyd the piece of paper that had a badly drawn picture of Kratos that had several kiss marks on it.

Lloyd read the piece of paper out loud.

"Kratos is so fine… I just want to see him in those purple… tights? I always imagine myself pinching his… butt? Is this really Rin's?"

"Give that back! That's… mine… This is Rin's." Raine said this time giving Lloyd a chewed up, wet, and ripped piece of paper.

"My thoughts of suicide have become easier to think about… Just an hour ago, I took Zelos' sword and put it to my hair, then my neck, then my wrists, and lastly my… left foot? On a side note Genis wears shorts that are too short… But secretly, I think he looks hot in them… I don't think this is Rin's either…" Lloyd said.

"Well, we found Rin in her room, passed out, with several cuts on her. She didn't bleed or anything… The cuts were too small, but there were a lot of them." Raine added hugging the picture of Kratos.

"Hey, what time is it? … Uhh…Raine, why are you hugging a picture of Kratos?" Rin said walking into the room.

"Lloyd! Hold her down! I'll administer the poison to put her to sleep!" Raine yelled getting a needle from her bag.

"AGH! LLOYD STOP HER! SHE'S CRAZY!" Rin also yelled grabbing a chair to put some distance between her and Raine.

"Rin, is it true you tried to commit suicide?" Lloyd asked ignoring her completely.

"It won't hurt! I promise!" Raine said trying to stab Rin with the needle.

"BACK! STAY BACK!" Yelled Rin to Raine. "Why would I want to commit suicide? I SAID BACK!"

"Well, there were several cuts on you and you passed out."

"YOU KEEP THAT NEEDLE AWAY FROM ME, YOU HEAR?" Rin yelled hitting Raine over the head with the chair. "Those were paper cuts. I was looking through some books in the room and on book fell on me and so did all the pages. I then tripped and hit my head on the bookcase. DIE!" Rin said as she continued to hit Raine.

"I've made up my mind! That's how I want to die!" Raine said getting up from the blow to her head.

"Oh… Then this isn't yours?" Lloyd asked as he held up the paper.

"… No… And Genis is _not_ hot… LEAVE ME ALONE!" Rin said as she threw the chair at her.

"Okay… Well, I don't know about you but I'm starving. Let's go eat breakfast." Lloyd said to Rin.

"Yeah, beating up Raine sure builds up an appetite!" Rin said as she left with him.

They closed the door with Raine inside. "Bring me… some pancakes… and toast!" Raine said to them, but she was too late.

At the breakfast table…

"Hey, Presea, you really do like those caramel candies I gave you, huh?" Genis said with his short shorts.

"…" Presea breathed.

"Hey… Why is there sticky stuff on my sword?" Zelos asked the group.

The group finished breakfast and went to the Research Academy to find that Kuchinawa had ditched them. So after Corrine said his good byes, they left to the Bridge and found Kuchinawa there tanning.

"Kuchinawa… What are you doing?" Sheena asked.

"Tanning… What else?" He replied.

"Why?"

"Because… I can."

"Where's the EC?"

"… Umm… I…"

"Go on…"

"Well… You see…"

"Where is it Kuchinawa?" Sheena asked again.

"GOD! You're worse than my dead parents! I forgot it in my other ninja outfit! Okay? Happy now?" Kuchinawa confessed.

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Tanning."

"You're wasting our time! That's what!" Rin intervened.

"Yeah Kuchinawa! Get it!" Sheena yelled.

"But… I'm tanning… I want to be a copper color… If I stop now… I'll be golden… Nobody likes a golden ninja…"

"GET IT NOW OR WE'LL KILL YOU!" Sheena and Rin yelled at the same time.

"FINE! MAKE ME STOP TANNING!" Kuchinawa cried as he ran away.

So our heroes waited, and waited, and waited… AND WAITED. Kuchinawa appeared after seven and a half hours of waiting.

"Here's the EC… And since I thought you guys would still be mad at me, I made you friendship bracelets!" Kuchinawa said as he gave the EC to Lloyd and gave everyone except Genis a bracelet. "There were no more g's… So I got the next closest letter." He then gave it to Genis.

"You shouldn't have… You _REALLY_ shouldn't have…" Genis said as he read his bracelet to himself.

"You're welcome!" Kuchinawa said with a smile.

All of their bracelets said, "Their name & Kuchi Friends forever!" Genis' said, "Penis & Kuchi Just Friends… Nothing More"

"I really hate you…" Genis said.

"Kuchinawa… How long did this take?" Rin and Sheena asked at the same time again.

"Umm… About seven hours… Why?" He replied.

"Raine, where's that needle you had earlier?" Rin asked.

"Will I be able to use it!" Raine asked with excitement in her voice.

"Yup!" Rin replied.

"MWAHAHAHAHA! Kuchinawa! Come closer! I want to give you a _hug_!" Raine said with pupil-less eyes as she secretly drew the needle and hid it behind her back.

"I'd love to, but I have to go… Tan… Buh bye!" Kuchinawa said as he ran off to tan on the roof of the Research Academy.

"DARN IT!" Raine yelled.

"We'll get him next time…" Sheena said to Raine.

They went to the EC and after an hour of trying to figure it out, they finally managed to surf straight to Ozette.

"So this is Ozette…" Genis said.

"No Genis, this is Triet!" Rin said sarcastically.

"… Meanie…"

Presea ran off to her house, and the group decided to follow. When they entered her house, they were overwhelmed with the stench of moldy blue cheese. Colette, Raine, Rin, Genis, and Zelos immediately ran outside and vomited all over the tulips that were blooming in front of Presea's house. When they entered again, they heard Lloyd say, "Mmmm… Cheese…"

"I sometimes wonder why I love you…" Rin mumbled under her breath.

"Huh? Did you say something Rin?" Lloyd asked.

"Nope! Nothing!" Rin replied with a smile on her face.

"You know Rin… I'm still mad that you didn't get me my toast…" Raine reminded her.

"Umm… Well, don't get mad… Get glad! Heh…" Rin said to the angry Raine.

"I'll save my anger for the next chapter…" Raine said.

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**Okay, polls are STILL open... and so far... It's a four way tie... this is sad... I know... Well, review and Raine _won't_ give you a _hug..._ I knowI wouldn't want a hug from her when she has a needle filled with poison...**


	16. Altessa's Cookies of Joy

**Yay! Another chappie! In one day too! I'm so proud of myself! I don't know why, but I was making myself a sandwich and I brought the bread to my room fo no speific reason... And the I couldn't find the tie to the bread thing... and it was in my room... Today was a strange day... Anyway read and enjoy!**

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"What is she doing?" Genis asked as Presea ran back and forth.

"Hmmm… I have no idea… So, if I don't know what she's doing, I must dissect her!" Raine said as she brought out the needle.

"Dissecting something is your answer for everything isn't it?" Rin asked.

"Shut up! Toast forgetter!" Raine yelled.

"… We should ditch her…" Rin whispered to the group.

"ACHOO!" Colette sneezed as snot flew everywhere.

"Hey, Colette, are you sick?" Lloyd asked.

"Yeah, notice _her _when _she _sneezes… I should've committed suicide last chapter…" Rin said to herself.

"No… I'm allergic to the smell of death… That's all." Colette replied.

"Oh… Okay. Let's go explore… Or something…" Lloyd said making his way out of the house of death.

They wandered around and stumbled upon Altessa's house.

"Who wants cookies?" Altessa asked.

"Me! Me! I want cookies!" Rin shouted as she jumped up and down.

"They're my famous raisin, cinnamon, oatmeal, sugar, chocolate, peanut butter, sprinkled cookies! Eat up!"

"That's a lot… I hate raisins… but it has the word 'sugar' in it so I'll take twenty!" Rin said as she swallowed one without chewing it.

"That reminds me… A blue haired freak passed by here not too long ago… He wanted to see if there was a way for that pink blob, Presea, to have a soul… I told him about the inhibitor ore in the Toize Valley Mine… And he was like, 'Oh, yeah… I should have remembered… Duh!' And he left… I'm so lonely… But that's why I made Tabitha! She's my wife! Say 'hi' dear!" Altessa said as he motioned her to come in.

"Hello, it is nice to make your aquaintance." Tabatha said in a monotonus tone of voice.

"You made her? That means you're her father and husband! That's sick!" Genis said to him.

"Ummm… Tabatha… You're facing the wall…" Rin said.

"Pull my hair." Tabatha commanded.

"O-Okay?" Rin said as she reluctantly pulled Tabitha's hair.

Tabatha's eyes started to glow. Everyone screamed in horror and ran to the corner of the room.

"I can now see you." She said eyes aglow.

"Yes, that's my Tabatha! Well, if you want Presea to have a soul, then go to the mine that I told you about. And don't be a stranger!" Altessa said as he tossed cookies at them and ushered them out.

They surfed to the mine, after they almost sank, which in turn, made Raine scream bloody murder and curse at them for being blind and not paying attention where they were going. They walked inside and found all of the time-wasting things that you have do to get the ore passable. They made their way to the deepest part of the mine where they saw Regal petting the ore.

"You're gonna help Presea fall in love with me! Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"He is so scary it's not even funny…" Rin said.

"I want Presea to fall in love with me! You're too tall for her!" Genis said casting gravity well.

"I wanna help her too!" Regal said kicking Genis in the crotch.

"Nobody kicks Genis in the crotch but me!" Raine said beating up Regal.

"Genis, how often does she beat you?" Colette asked.

"Every so often…" Genis replied with a high pitched squeaky voice.

"Let's make a deal, Big Blue can join our party in exchange for his life. Then he'll fight all the monsters while we work on our tans. Agreed?" Rin asked the group.

"Hmmm…Kill him… Or tan… Okay… He can live." Raine said.

"But now I have competition! It's not fair!"Genis said with his high voice.

Regal joined the party

After Lloyd engraved the charm in the inhibitor ore, they sailed over to Ozette when Colette collapsed from a high fever. (Me: Yes! Hahaha!)

"Look, Colette has a high fever… Let's point and laugh at her misery." Raine said pointing at the collapsed Colette.

"You're cool Raine." Rin said.

"I know." She replied.

"Come here my little angel…" Rodyle commanded.

Immediately, a dragon flew over and picked up Colette and flew away.

Rodyle disappeared and Presea appeared. Lloyd gave the inhibitor ore to her and POOF! She had a soul. They forgot about Colette, and went over to Presea's house. Everyone vomited except Lloyd and they went inside to find a decaying body in the bed. Presea gave out a shrill and Rin tried not to cry from laughing but it didn't work. She then agreed to join the party, which made Genis and Regal ecstatic.

When they left Kratos appeared… But with his legs crossed. It seemed like he had to go potty… AGAIN.

"Kratos… what is it with you and not going to the bathroom _before _you come here?" Rin asked.

"So… many straps… so little time…" Kratos mumbled.

"Ugh… Does this help?" Rin asked as she used her dagger to cut through the straps. All of his clothing fell to the ground, and leaving Kratos only in his boxers.

"(drool)" Raine drooled all over the floor.

"Oh… my… gosh… Just go!" Rin commanded.

Kratos turned around and started to pee. Rin just slapped herself. When Kratos was done, he turned around and started telling them about the people of Mizuho and how they probably found the Rheiards already.

"Wait, when did we go to Mizuho?" Rin asked.

"We didn't, I told Kuchinawa what I know and he told me what the village knows… So yeah…" Sheena replied.

"… NOBODY TELLS ME THESE THINGS ANYMORE!" Rin cried.

"Well, I must go…" Kratos said as he turned around to fly away.

"DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THESE MORONS! I LOVE YOU!" Raine yelled clinging to his leg.

"Let me go…" Kratos said as he shook his leg madly and started to bang her against a tree.

Finally, Raine let go. She fell to the ground all bloody and bruised due to the tree.

(SKIT ALERT!)

Title: Zelos' Hair

"Hey, Zelos, can you do me a favor?" Rin asked.

"Sure my Psychic Beauty!" Zelos replied.

"Can you spin around till I say 'stop'?"

"Uh… Sure…" Zelos began to spin.

"HAHAHAHA! My friend is right!" Rin laughed.

"What?" Zelos asked as he stopped spinning.

"KEEP SPINNING!" Rin ordered.

"F-Fine…" He began to spin again. "Can you tell me why I'm doing this?" Zelos asked as he spun.

"Well, your hair… It dances when you spin…"

"That's it?"

"DID I SAY TO STOP SPINNING!"

"N-No…" He said as he continued to spin.

About an hour later, the whole group was there watching him spin.

"It's like a ballad." Raine said.

"I just think it twitches…" Colette replied.

"COLETTE! WHY ARE YOU HERE!" Rin asked.

"Crap… I'm not supposed to come in yet?"

"NO!"

"Crap… Okay… If you need me I'll be in my trailer…" Colette said as she ran to her two-story trailer, complete with a hot tub and massage chair.

"Just forget she was in this skit, okay?" Rin said to all of the diligent readers who are very diligent for putting up with my laziness, and writer's block.

Zelos then vomited on Regal because he spun around for too long.

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**Oh... Poor Zelos... Hey, Pepto-Bismal! Upset stomach, indigestion, heartburn, diarrhea! ... This is _not_ an advertisement! Reviews! Oh! by some strange occurance, Raine is in 1st place... by one vote... yeah... Polls are still open!**


	17. Rin's Somewhat Brilliant Plan

**Me: I'm... So... Sorry!**

**Genis: For what?**

**Me: I'm not talking to you... I'm talking to my diligent readers... The excuse is-**

**Genis: Laziness.**

**Me: No! It's-**

**Genis: Your horrible typing.**

**Me: ... I hate you...**

**Genis: Anyway... On to business...**

**Me: Business?**

**Genis: The disclamer... Remember?**

**Me: Ahhh...**

**Genis: No wonder you didn't put it in this whole time...**

**Me: ...**

**Genis: Well... The only thing she does own is not a thing but a person and that person is Rin... Rin is The Lone Summoner's subconsious angel/devil that tells her when to be nice or when to be mean and throw people in a closet and gag them with Zelos' thongs...**

**Me: I own my room... No... wait... It's really my parents... My money... no... they have acces to my account...**

**Genis: I apologize for keeping you...**

**Me: Shut up or I'll throw you in the closet again!**

**Genis: Here's the story! (Get's tackled by me and thrown into closet)**

"NO! I DON'T WANNA GO MAKE A PACT WITH VOLT!" Sheena screamed as the group had to resort to dragging her to get inside the temple.

"You have to Sheena, if you don't, we won't be able to rescue Colette… Wait… I like that idea…" Rin said as she stopped dragging her.

"It's okay Sheena, just think of Volt as a giant toaster." Genis said trying to encourage her.

"Somebody still hasn't given me my toast!" Raine said glaring at Rin.

"… Presea is cute when she ignores us…" Regal mumbled to himself while staring at her.

"I think you have mental problems…" Lloyd said to Regal.

"Hey, Lloyd, do you think I'm cute?" Rin asked waiting for an adequate answer.

"Ummm… Well…" Lloyd said as he started to blush heavily.

"YOU DO! I KNOW IT!" Rin yelled as she smiled.

"You're cute but…" Lloyd said as he finally mustered the will to keep talking.

"But? But? But what?" Rin asked starting to get nervous.

"… You're just not my type…"

"… I-I see… I'M NOT LOVED!" Rin screamed as she started to cry hysterically.

"I love you…" Zelos said trying to comfort her.

"I DON'T CARE IF _YOU_ LOVE ME!" Rin yelled again.

"… I'm going to cry…"

"Rin, I just like you as a friend…" Said Lloyd realizing what he had caused.

"…Y-Yes… Just friends… I can be a good… Friend…" Rin said as she turned unemotional.

"Sheena doesn't wanna see Volt! Volt scares Sheena! Sheena had a bad experience when Sheena was a little girl! Sheena stuck finger in electrical outlet and it hurt lots! Then Sheena didn't like where Sheena lived so Sheena took Grandpa's keys and stuck them in electrical outlet… It also hurt lots!" Sheena said as she went into the fetal position.

"What were you thinking?" Genis asked.

"Sheena thought that Sheena could drive the house away…" Sheena said innocently.

"Let's go…" Rin said unhappy.

They made their way through the temple without any problems. But when they went to blow up the last block, Rin had an idea.

"Okay… I'll pretend to die and you tell him… (whisper whisper) … Got it?" Rin asked the group.

"What's in it for us?" Raine asked.

"A lifetime supply of TOAST!" Rin replied.

"I'M IN!" She yelled while dancing the toast dance.

"What about us?" Genis asked.

"I'll give you and Regal pictures of Presea!"

"WE'RE IN!" Regal and Genis yelled while dancing the Presea dance.

"What about me?" Presea asked.

"Umm… Pepper spray?"

"Why would I need… Oh… I see…" Presea said as she looked at Regal and Genis drooling and staring at her.

"What does Sheena get?" Sheena asked still talking in third person.

"Umm… Corrine doesn't die."

"CORRINE DIES?" Sheena yelled starting to cry.

"I won't let it happen, I promise."

"You better keep your word!"

"Okay… PLACES PEOPLE!" Rin yelled as she got into position to perform her insane but brilliant idea.

"Hiyah!" Lloyd shouted as he used the Sorcerer's Ring to shoot electricity at the final block.

Volt came out and Raine translated and Volt got mad at the way she talked so Volt electrocuted her and the group.

"Sheena says to be alert and not to touch Volt because Volt hurts lots!" Sheena said warning the group about Volt's meaniness.

Volt was about to shoot electricity at Sheena but Corrine jumped in front of the blast but fell to the floor and missed it. Instead, Rin jumped in the way and took the hit for Sheena.

"Rin, no… Why?" Sheena asked.

"Volt's just lost his faith in people… Make your vow…" Rin said to her.

"THAT'S MY LINE!" Corrine shouted.

"SHUT UP, FURBALL!" Rin yelled quietly.

Rin twitched and became limp.

"Rin!" Lloyd yelled.

"For the sake of everyone who risked their lives to protect me, VOLT! I demand your power!" Sheena yelled as the screen went closer and closer to her face, and the battle begun… Then it ended. Sheena made her vow and everyone saw Volt and Undine appear and talk about the severing of the mana flow. Then after a long speech about how to get the crust of your apple pie just right, they went to see Rin's 'dead' body.

"Rin… I'm so sorry…" Lloyd said breaking the long silence.

"Hmm… They say that those who are struck by Volt's lightning are put into a deep sleep… And they can only be awoken by their love's kiss…" Raine said as she looked on her hand for the lines that she had written before.

"Are you serious?" Lloyd asked looking at Rin's 'dead' body.

"Yes… NOW HURRY UP AND KISS HER SO I CAN GET MY TOAST! … I mean… I'm hungry and I want toast… Heh…"

"… Umm… Okay…" Lloyd said as he went and kissed Rin.

A faint smile passed her lips. Then a high voice said, "Lloyd, I think you should try kissing her again…"

"Huh? Who said that?" He asked.

"Umm… It's me Genis… I think you should kiss her again… And maybe with more feeling…" Rin said trying the best she could at imitating Genis' voice.

"You need to do something about your throat Genis… Well… Umm… Here I go…" Lloyd said as he kissed her passionately. (Me: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so evil…)

After Lloyd kissed her, Rin jerked awake.

"Lloyd, I thought you said you only liked me as a _friend_… I think it's safe to say that now, we're _more_ than friends!" Rin said smiling from ear to ear.

"Wait… It's not like that! You could've stayed dead!" Lloyd said blushing more than ever.

"But you love me so much that you wanted me to stay by your side forever! Right hunny?" Rin said with her eyes sparkling.

"… Are we gonna rescue Colette now?" Genis asked.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR HER NAME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!" Rin yelled.

"O…Okay… Whatever you say…"

They then went on a trip to Altimira after they got the Rhearids. They stayed there for six weeks and on the sixth week they got really bored and decided to rescue Colette.

"THERE YOU GUYS ARE! I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOREVER! YOU CAN AT LEAST SEND ME A POSTCARD!" Colette yelled.

"We've been… Busy…" Rin said.

They killed all of the dragons surrounding Colette and rescued her from certain death. (Me: DARN IT!) They then flew to the Temple of Earth to make a pact with the most cutest and the cuddliest Summon Spirit of all time… Gnome…

**Yeah... Sorry it took forever... School is horrible for the frequent reader... Well... Reviews would be encouraging... Polls are still open if you're wondering... I can't believe this is happening... But Raine is winning... (shudders)**


	18. Curry, Love, and the Cha Cha

**SORRY FOR THE DELAY! It's just that school is torture... and I have a project due on Wednesday and a paper on the 17th... (i haven't even done any research for the paper yet...) So here you go, I will not let you wait any longer!

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**

"Yodelayhihoo! Yodelayhihoo! Yodelayhoo!" Rin yodeled happily.

"Why are you so happy?" Lloyd asked.

"No reason… Hunny…" Rin said with a smile.

"Are you and Rin together?" Colette asked.

"YES! HE'S MINE BACK OFF!" Rin yelled going in between Colette and Lloyd.

"Okay…" Colette said as she cautiously backed away from Rin.

Little did our heroes know, except for Rin, that their was a trap intended for Colette up ahead. Which Rin had set up earlier. Colette was to walk on top of one of the broken bridges and she fall to her death. (Me: FINALLY!) They then bumped into the gnomelette who wants to eat something spicy.

"Let's see… How about… Rin! You haven't cooked this whole journey! Now's your chance!" Lloyd said giving the pots and pans to her.

"Lloyd, there's a reason I have never cooked." Rin said with her head low.

"I'll help you…" Lloyd offered.

"OKAY!" Rin said as she magically had her apron on.

"… Okay…" Lloyd said as he started to get a pot.

Later…

"YOU BETTER LIKE MY COOKING!" Rin yelled while she took out her dagger and evil was shone in her eyes.

"… Hey… This…" Genis started.

"THIS SUCKS!" Zelos finished.

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY!" Rin yelled as she took Zelos' hair and started to do a cutting motion with her hand.

"IT… IT'S DELICIOUS!" Zelos said while he sobbed.

"What about you?" Rin asked turning to Genis.

"… Umm… C-Can I have seconds?" He asked as he threw the curry at the gnomelette.

"This is pretty good… If you don't have taste buds…" Raine said.

"I refuse to eat such filth!" Colette said throwing her food on the ground and stepping on it.

"…(vomit)…" Regal vomited over the ledge.

"… It's Uhh… Okay for your first time…" Lloyd said trying not to vomit.

"YAY! MY LLOYDIEPOO LIKED IT!" Rin yelled.

Lloyd vomited blood on the floor.

"… My food is deadly?" Rin asked as she stared at the blood on the floor.

Sheena then fell on the floor and died.

"Do we really need to answer that question?" Genis asked as Zelos used a Life Bottle on Sheena and said, "Love me now huh?"

"Not really…" Sheena replied as she got up.

"You guys are mean…" Rin said as she hung her head very low.

"Gah!" The gnomelette cried as it fell on the floor, dead from eating Rin's cooking.

RIN OBTAINED THE TITLE: Deadly Cook

Deadly Cook: It can't be helped, no matter how hard you try…

They walked along and followed the gnomelette who was nice and jumped on the bridge and almost died and walked to Gnome's alter thing and Colette somehow tripped while standing up.

"I'm sorry everyone…" Colette said as she fainted.

"How did she die that quickly?" Genis asked.

"I think she ate my curry…" Rin said. "Well, it serves her right! She made me vomit a lot when she made me the strawberry shortcake cake…"

"I guess you guys are even then…" Sheena said as she walked up to the alter. Gnome appeared and attacked the fainted Colette without warning.

"Die you freak!" Gnome shouted as he turned himself into the cool brown shinny ball and floated down to Sheena's hand.

"That's it?" Rin asked.

"I guess… let's go!" Lloyd said as they left the temple.

Zelos sighed as he picked up Colette and carried her to the Temple of Ice. (He sighed because she has a non-existent chest)

They first flew to Flanoir and gathered the gear to make it through the Temple of Ice. Genis got a light blue parka, Lloyd got a red one, Rin a dark blue one, Zelos pink, Sheena purple, Raine an orange one, Presea a pink one, and Colette… They couldn't afford a parka for her… Well, they could but they didn't want to spent hard-earned gald on her.

They then flew to the Temple of Ice and explored it. They really just wandered… But when they found Celsius' Tear, they couldn't pick it up… Or could they?

"I have another brilliant idea!" Rin gloated.

"What was so brilliant about _that _plan?" Genis asked.

"It got Lloyd to fall madly in love with me, didn't it?" Rin replied while grinning at Lloyd.

"No… It didn't…" Lloyd said while looking the opposite direction of her.

"… Well, my plan is to use Colette's hands to pick it up and toss it into that lake thing." Rin replied pointing to the lake.

"Hmmm… That does make sense… She can't feel anything when she's dead… All righty! Let's do it!" Raine said.

They took the tear and tossed it into the lake using Colette's hands. When they were walking across, Lloyd got trapped on the piece of land to the left… west… whatever…

"You guys… It's cold here… Can someone help?" Lloyd asked while he shivered with coldness.

"I'LL SAVE YOU HUNNY!" Rin shouted as she skated across the ice.

_Wait…,_ She thought, _what if the ice were to break off from this island thing and Lloyd and I would be stranded here until the water froze again? … But with the tear it'll freeze back in a matter of seconds… Poo… This is so not fair… I just want to spend alone time with Lloyd… Life is so cruel…_

"It's so freakin' cold…" Lloyd said between shivers.

"Well, they didn't call it the Temple of Ice for nothing…" Rin replied stating the obvious.

"Why does it have to be so cold here?" Lloyd asked hugging himself to receive warmth.

"Because it's not warm. Now let's hurry, the faster we get Celsius, the faster we get outta here!" Rin said grabbing his arm and pulling him across the ice.

"Where'd they go?" Lloyd asked as they landed on the other side to find that the group left them and went into the seal room.

"They ditched us… I am not going in there! It could be like, negative 100 degrees in there! I don't want to be a popsicle!" Rin complained.

"We should go in if they need our help then… GENIS? What happened?" Lloyd asked as Genis came out of the room with icicles piercing his skin.

"C-c-celsiusss… I-i-isssss… K-killing… ussss… We can't make… I-it…" Genis said as he huddled over for warmth.

"We have to stop Celsius!" Lloyd said as he and Rin ran in to seal room.

"More victims?" Celsius asked.

The group managed to defeat her wolf but failed in their attempt to kill her. They were on the ground, frozen solid.

"You're gonna pay for that!" Rin said as she ran toward the Summon Spirit.

"Rin! No!" Lloyd yelled.

"It's alright, I can handle her." Rin said as she waved at him, motioning for him to stay back.

"You can't win… Well, show me your power…" Celsius said as she started the battle.

Suddenly, familiar music began to play as they started the battle. (Not the normal battle music… heh heh) The lyrics said,

"Now it's time to get funky  
To the right now, to the left  
Take it back now ya'll  
1 hop this time, 1 hop this time  
Right foot 2 stomps, left foot 2 stomps  
Slide to the left, slide to the right  
Criscross, criscross  
Cha Cha real smooth" When the lyrics said right foot let's stomp, Rin stomped her foot on Celsius' foot, hard. She did the same with the left as well. She dodged an attack from Celsius when it said slide to the left and slide to the right.

"What is this?" Lloyd asked.

"This is something new, the Casper slide part II" Rin replied as she continued to dance.

"The what?" Lloyd said as he watched in disbelief.

"Let's go to work  
To the left, take it back now ya'll  
2 hops this time, 2 hops this time  
Right foot 2 stomps, left foot 2 stomps  
Hands on your knees, hands on your knees  
Get funky with it, aahhhhhhhhhh yaaaa  
Come on, Cha Cha now ya'll" Lloyd watched as Rin went down low… Very low…

"Turn it down, to the left  
Take it back now ya'll  
5 hops this time  
Right foot let's stomp, left foot let's stomp  
Right foot again, left foot again  
Right foot let's stomp, left foot let's stomp" Celsius' feet began to bleed from the stomping.

"What is this? This isn't the normal music that plays!" Celsius argued.

"Freeze, Everybody Clap yo hands  
Come on ya'll, check it out  
How low can you go?  
Can you go down low?  
All the way to da floor?  
How low can you go?  
Can you bring it to the top?  
Like it never never stop?  
Can you bring it to the top?  
1 hop, right foot now  
Left foot now ya'll  
Cha Cha real smooth" Rin continued to go down low until she decided to do her own thing. She smashed Celsius' knee in as she went low.

"AGGHH!" The Summon Spirit cried in pain.

"Turn it down, to the left  
Take it back now ya'll  
1 hop this time,1 hop this time  
Reverse, Reverse  
Slide to the left, slide to the right  
Reverse Reverse, reverse reverse  
Cha Cha now ya'll  
Cha Cha again  
Cha Cha now ya'll  
Cha Cha again  
Turn it down" As Rin did the 'Cha Cha' she punched Celsius in the face.

"To the left, that it back now ya'll  
2 hops 2 hops, 2 hops 2 hops  
Right foot let's stomp, left foot let's stomp  
Charlie Brown, hop it out now  
Slide to the right, slide to the left  
Take it back now ya'll  
Cha Cha now ya'll" Rin ended the dance with a kick in the face.

"I don't want to ask again… What was that?" Lloyd asked.

"My little dance…" Rin replied innocently.

They defrosted everyone (except Colette) and saw the angelic lightning that came down to face the people of Ozette with their judgment. (Wow, that was deep even for me…)

**That was the Cha Cha slide. Lol... that was a fun chappie to type... It took me forever though... So... On to business... Ahem... REVIEW YOUR HEARTS OUT MY FELLOW READERS!**


	19. Captian Faggypants Strikes

**Me: Sorry for the long wait...**

**Raine: She dicovered a place called "Youtube" WHICH, she does not own!**

**Me: Rub it in Raine...**

**Raine: And you have something for me at the end of this chapter... right?**

**Me: Yes...**

**Raine: Good, now readers!** **Please enjoy this story!**

* * *

"What… Is this?" Presea asked as they walked into Ozette to see the destruction. 

"WHERE IS MY BABY?!" Raine randomly yelled while pulling her hair and running around frantically.

"WHAT?! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHILD! … DO YOU?!" Rin asked very loudly.

"Heh… Well, you see… Kratos and I… have been seeing each other… for awhile and… this is what happens when you love someone deeply…" Raine replied while blushing a little.

Genis then fainted after hearing the news.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Raine said as she picked up a random child who was running around trying to find shelter.

"I WANT MY MOMMY!" The child cried.

"It's okay… Mommy's here…" Raine said comforting the child.

"That kid has black hair… Not silver or auburn." Lloyd replied.

"… My god… You abducted that child just for your selfish deeds… I'm ashamed…" Regal replied.

"It's my child! You hear?" Raine yelled while foaming at the mouth.

"Rick? Where are you? …There you are! What the hell are you doing with my son?" A mother yelled to Raine.

"This is MY child!" Raine argued.

"Get your hands off him bitch!" The mother screamed at her.

"You want him? Then come and get him?" Raine dropped the boy and began to cat fight with the mom.

"This is very random…" Rin admitted.

"Yes…" Lloyd agreed.

"Hey, look… There's a kid that's about to die… let's laugh at him and roast marshmallows." Presea said completely ignoring the fact that her hometown was being burnt to a crisp.

"Okay!" Everyone agreed.

While Raine and the mom fought, the group sat on the kid (Mithos) and began to roast marshmallows.

"… Kra…tos… I need you…" The kid (Mithos) gasped.

"What?" Raine asked as she pulled the mother's hair.

"I'M COMING DARLING!" A deep voice replied.

"D-Darling?!" Rin gasped as she almost choked on her marshmallow.

"Take this!" Kratos said as he casted Thunder Blade and the unsuspecting marshmallow-eaters.

"GWAH!" Everyone cried as they were electrified.

"Are you okay?" Kratos asked sweetly to Mithos.

"I am now…" Mithos replied with a big, wet, French kiss.

Raine became petrified. Genis, who just woke up, fainted again from seeing Kratos kiss a random person.

"WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH KRATOS?!" Raine screeched as she delivered the final blow to the woman.

"We're lovers." Mithos replied.

"… I think my heart just stopped…" Raine said as she fainted beside Genis.

"I am emotionally scarred for life now…" Rin said covering her eyes as Mithos and Kratos kissed again.

"I have to go my love…" Kratos said as he took out his wings and started to fly away.

"No! I… I need you!" Mithos cried.

"I need to go potty…" Kratos replied innocently.

"Of course…" Rin said as she slapped herself.

"Okay…" Mithos said sadly.

Kratos flew away and everybody who fainted got up.

"I had the craziest dream…" Genis said recovering from the falls.

"Hey… You're kinda cute…" Mithos replied to seeing Genis.

"AGH! Get away from me you Gaylord!" Genis screamed.

"Even with this form people call me gay???" Mithos questioned.

"I think you look gay either way Capitan Faggypants." Rin commented.

"What makes me Capitan Faggypants?!" Mithos questioned.

"Well, you think you're all that and that you rule the world prancing around all over the place in those tight, little, _faggy_, **pants**! I rest my case!" Rin replied.

"Why you little… MY PANTS ARE NOT FAGGY!" Mithos cried as he ran away.

"Capitan Faggypants! You dropped something!" Zelos replied as he picked up a piece of paper that said, "OMG! Some porn is at Altessa's house! Go there after I destroy Ozette."

"OMG! We have to go to Altessa's house!" Zelos said drooling all over the place.

"... I'd rather not…" Sheena replied.

"I don't think so Zelos…" Rin replied

Suddenly, and very randomly, Kemix appeared.

"Well… look what we have here…" He replied with his hair wafting in the breeze.

"Who does your hair?!" Raine randomly yelled. "Mine is so stiff… What makes yours so free and wavy?"

"… I don't know… I use… conditioner?" Kemix shrugged. 'Why do I like her?' He thought.

"So, why are you here?" Rin asked.

"Well, I'm here to tell you to go to they Altessa's house and-"

"I know what you're gonna say!" Shrieked a happy Zelos.

"No… You have to look for an explanation…"

"On-" Zelos interrupted again.

"I said no… you know what? Just go… there isn't anything there but a dwarf and a robot-lamp-thing." And with that, Kemix disappeared.

"I need to know how he does that…" Zelos replied.

"Does what? The disappearing thing?" Rin asked.

"Yes! Then I can do whatever I want, like looking at She-"

"Shut up Zelos!" Sheena said as she slapped him.

"Oww…"

The group made the quick stop to Altessa's house for cookies and the very long explanation about who knows **what**…

"That's when I got a blister on my back… Do you want to hear about the time I got this blood blister on my little toe? It was twice the size of my big toe and it was red on top of that… Hahahaha! Good times! I have pictures if you want to see them." Altessa said as he brought out a picture of his foot.

"That's where I draw the line…" Rin said turning away.

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" Genis and Raine gasped at the same time.

"Happy place… Happy place…" Lloyd said as he curled up in a ball and rocked back and forth on the floor.

**

* * *

Me: Now to announce the winner of the Most Random Character... The winner is... Raine...**

**Raine: Yay! Now where's my toast you monkey?**

**Me: Toast isn't part of this... you just get the title and a crappy piece of paper saying that you won... That's pretty much it...**

**Raine: You are on my s list now...**

**Me: Thank God I censored that! There are little eyes watching you know!**

**Raine: Whatever...**

**Me: Forget about her... and review... please?**


End file.
